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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Greetings to all.

"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who did nothing
 because he could only do a little."
- Edmund Burke`

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QUICK JOKE

Seen in a health food store_
" Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic
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CARTOON TIME

DISAPPOINTMENT

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1 Q and 3 As

Q: How many astronomers does it take to change a light
 bulb?

1). Ten! One to change the bulb, and nine to argue how their
 own bulb gives better colour.

2). None! Astronomers aren't afraid of the dark.

3). See the FAQs
"What sort of light bulb should I buy?"
"Should I start with a candle?"
"Where should I buy my light bulb?"
"Where NOT to buy a light bulb."
"What type of light bulb to avoid?"
"What will I be able to see with my bulb?"
"How do I deal with telescope-pollution?"
"Can I buy a bulb for a friend?"
"Can I use my bulb in the daytime?"

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PASSENGER FLIGHT FROM NY TO LA.

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it
 reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made
 an announnncement over the intercom. 
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
 Welcome to Flight No. 293, nonstop from New York to Los
 Angeles. The weather ahead is good and we should have a
 smooth and uneventful flight. Now, just sit back and
 relax." 

Then he quickly yells out loud - "OH MY GOD!" 

Dead silence followed. 

After a few minutes, the pilot comes back on the intercom
 and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared
 you earlier, but while I was speaking, the flight attendant
 brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it all over my
 lap. You should see the front of my pants!" 

A passenger in Coach shouts back, "That's nothing, you
 should see the back of mine!"

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THE TALKING DUCK

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.
The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.
"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now can I
 have my beer and my sandwich, please?" 
"Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's
 just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you
 doing round this way?" 

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains
 the duck. 

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and
 leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus
 comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the
 pub and the bartender tells him about the incredible
 talking duck. 

"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see me."
 
So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender
 says, "Hey, Mr. Duck, I lined you up with a top job paying
 really good money!" 

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?" 

"At the circus" says the bartender. 

"The circus?" the duck enquires. 

"That's right," replies the bartender. 

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the
 animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the
 middle?" asks the duck. 

"That's right!" says the bartender. 

The duck looks confused and asks: "What the heck do they
 want with a carpenter?"

-By Alan from Hong Kong

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