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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

This will be a Good Friday too.
** HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY **
"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with
 their own hearts." 
-Albert Einstein

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QUICK JOKE

Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.

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CARTOON TIME

HEIGHT OF WAITING

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

Legal Advice for ANY situation! FREE INFO 
 
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Custody, Wills, Bankruptcy to just knowing your Rights.  
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REALLY ? WHAT ?!?

1) Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on
 those little bottles of Evian water?? Try spelling Evian
 backwards: NAIVE

2) Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like
 making a peeing section in a swimming pool??

3) If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea....does that
 mean that, one actually enjoys it??

4) There are 3 religious truths: 1-Jews do not recognize
 Jesus as the Messiah 2-Protestants do not recognize the
 Pope as the leader of the Christian faith 3-Baptists do not
 recognize each other in the liquor store.

5) Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack??

6) Why is the man who invests your money called a broker??

7) Why do croutons come in airtight packages?? Aren't they
 just stale bread to begin with??

8) If lawyers are disbarred & clergymen are defrocked,
 doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
 musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree
 surgeons debarked & dry cleaners depressed??

9) Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

10) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of
 bald men??

11) If American mothers feed their babies with tiny little
 spoons & forks, ever wonder what Chinese mothers use??
 Toothpicks??

12) Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
 Office?? What are we supposed to do, write to them?? Why
 don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so
 the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail??

13) If it's true that we are here to help others, then what
 exactly are the others here for??

14) You never really learn to swear until you learn to
 drive!!

-Nancy Burks

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INCREDIBLE DOG

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a
 soul was in the office except a big dog emptying
 wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering
 if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog
 looked up and said, 'Don't be surprised. This is just part
 of my job.' 

'Incredible!' exclaimed the man. 'I can't believe it! Does
 your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that
 can talk!' 

'No, no,' pleaded the dog. 'Please don't! If that man finds
 out I can talk, he'll make me answer the phone as well!'

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

The Victory Bracelet!

These are aluminum bracelets in patriotic red, silver and
 blue, emblazoned with 2 American Flags, and the phrase 
"We Stand United." 
The bracelets fit everyone. 

For every bracelet your customers order, 
we include a second FREE bracelet, 
plus a FREE pewter lapel pin with the US flag 
clutched in the talons of the American Bald Eagle, 
PLUS (and I love this one) we will send a matching bracelet 
to a service man or woman serving in the military overseas, 
absolutely free. 

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Blond's Horse ride.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she
 has no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse
 unassited and it immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythemic pace, but the
 blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs
 for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
 She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but
 she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping
 rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde
 attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to
 safety.

Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup,
 and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves
 as her head is struck against the ground over and over. She
 starts to lose conciousness, but to her great fortune, the
 hero Bobby the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the
 horse.

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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We claim no copyrights to the material in our mailing lists,
if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
link and credit would be nice but is in no way required.

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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
send mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] and we'll try to please you!

Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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