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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Fridays are for fresh plans for the weekend.

"A man should not strive to eliminate his complexes but to
 get into accord with them: they are legitimately what
 directs his conduct in the world." 
-Sigmund Freud

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QUICK JOKE

A great many people think they are thinking, when actually
 they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

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CARTOON TIME

TRACKS

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REAL STORY

A true story... 

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and
 expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among
 other things. 

Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these
 great cigars and without yet having made even his first
 premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim
 against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer
 stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."
 The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
 reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal
 fashion. The lawyer sued....and won!

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the
 insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge
 stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the
 company in which it had warranted that the cigars were
 insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them
 against fire, without defining what is considered to be
 unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.
 
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the
 insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00
 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the
 "fires."

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PROFESSIONAL FIGHT

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in
 the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just
 before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat
 next to the two physicians. 

The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was
 settling in when the physician in the window seat said," I
 think I'll get up and get a coke." 

"No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you." 

While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the
 attorney's shoe and spat in it. 

When he returned with the coke, the other physician said,
 "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." 

Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he
 was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and
 spat in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and
 enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney
 slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what
 had happened.

"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between
 our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting
 in shoes and pissing in cokes?"

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OPERATION

A politician awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated
 operation, and found that the curtains were drawn around
 him. 

"Why are the curtains closed," he said. "Is it night?"
 
A nurse replied, "No, it is just that there is a fire across
 the street, and we didn't want you waking up and thinking
 that the operation was unsuccessful."

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