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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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FREE TUTORIAL ...

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INTRODUCTION

Smiles are always GOOD....to have!

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there 
is.
 
- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

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QUICK JOKE

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He
called his kids together to ask which one should have the
present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never
talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?" 

Five small voices answered in unison. "Okay, dad, you get 
the toy."

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CARTOON TIME

MOUSE

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POOR FRED (BAD PUN)

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. 
"Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door. 

"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." 

The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here
today?" 

"No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton." 

When he returned the third day he sarcastically said, "I
suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" 

"No," the woman answered solemnly, "Fred died yesterday." 

Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided
to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But
sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this 
inscription: ... "Gone, But Not for Cotton."

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HOT AND COLD

A woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object,
she asks, 'What is that?' 

The store clerk responds, 'It's a thermos.' 

The woman scratches her head and inquires, 'What does 
it do?' 

The clerk explains, 'It keeps hot things hot and cold 
things cold.' 

So she buys one. 

The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss,
asks, 'What is that shiny object?' 

She replies 'It's a thermos.' 

He asks, 'What does it do?' 

She says, 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.' 

He then asks, 'What do you have in there?' 

'Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle!'

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ESCAPE

A hillbilly was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks.
After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle 
Joe from Chicago has died and left him over $100,000. The 
hillbilly was so happy when the warden said he would put it
in trust untll he was released. 

The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy
 before tying the money up. The Hillbilly said he had read a 
lot about computers and wanted a computer. The warden said
"sure" and got him a computer. A brand new Compaq computer.
After a few weeks the warden visitied him in his cell to
see how he was doing. To his amazement he saw the computer
smashed on the floor. 

The warden asked the Hillbilly what happened. The Hillbilly
said it didn't work right and he got mad. He said it would 
not even complete the simplest task. 

The warden asked him what he wanted the computer to do. The 
Hillbilly said he just wanted one thing from the computer.
One simple task and it could not do it. 

The Hillbilly said, "I hit the escape key and nothing 
happened, I hit the key again and still nothing, I am still
here. I think I will sue Compaq."

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NEVER Get a speeding ticket again... 
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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