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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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INTRODUCTION

"A friendship founded on business is better than a 
business founded on friendship." 

- John D. Rockefeller (1874-1960)

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QUICK JOKE

When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can 
take it. Tell me in plain English what's wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're just a 
plain old lazy fart."

"Thank You." said the man. "Now give me the medical term, so 
I can tell my wife!"

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CARTOON TIME

WRIST HURTING!

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

Do you love to Laugh? Sign up for the 101 Fun Jokes 
Newsletter. We have hilarious jokes, unbelievably funny 
pictures, Love Tests, Personality tests and so much more fun 
stuff in each issue. If you love to have a good time and 
read some great funny stuff subscribe today!
Send an e-mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] or 
go to http://www.101funjokes.com

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WHO COOKED THE MEAL?

Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner, which turns out 
to be the best fish and chips she's ever had. After dinner, 
she goes into the kitchen and asks "Excuse me, but who 
cooked that meal?"

Two of the brothers step forward in response. "Hello, I'm 
Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."

"Pleased to meet you both. I just wanted to thank you for a 
wonderful dinner." Both brothers smile and murmur "Thank 
you, our pleasure."

"Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles said, "Well, I'm the fish friar."

She winces, turns pale, and says to the other brother, "Oh, 
no. Then you must be..."

"Yes, I'm the chip monk."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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WAR ON YOU!

"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This 
is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to 
inform you that we are officially declaring war on you."

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important 
news. Tell me, how big is your army?" "At this moment in 
time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is 
myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Gerry, and 
the entire dominoes team from the pub -- that makes 
eight."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have one 
million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right 
Mr. Hussein, the war is still on. We have managed to 
acquire some equipment."

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and 
Murphy's tractor from the farm."

Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I 
have 16,000 tanks, 14,000 armored personnel carriers, and 
my army has increased to one and a half million since we 
last spoke."

"Really?" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Paddy rang again the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war 
is still on. We have managed to get ourselves airborne. 
We've modified Ted's ultra-light with a couple of rifles in 
the cockpit, and the bridge team has joined us as well."

Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell you 
Paddy that I have 10,000 bombers, 20,000 MiG-19 attack 
planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided 
surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army 
has increased to two million men."

"Faith and begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right, 
Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call 
off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change 
of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "We've all had a chat, and there's no way 
we can feed two million prisoners."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

WHAT WILL THEY FIND? 
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IF YOU TOOK YOUR PC IN FOR REPAIR? 
IF YOUR FAMILY USED YOUR COMPUTER? 
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DRIVERS LICENSE

R.C.G, 21 walked up to two patrol officers who were showing 
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit 
neighborhood.

When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him 
for identification. He gave them his drivers license, they 
entered it into the computer.

Moments later they arrested him because information on the 
screen showed he was wanted for a two year old armed robbery 
in St. Louis, Missouri.

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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We claim no copyrights to the material in our mailing lists,
if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
link and credit would be nice but is in no way required.

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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
send mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] and we'll try to please you!

Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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