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====> LABLaughsClean
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INTRODUCTION

Enjoy Your Holidays!

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm 
doing." 

- Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

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QUICK JOKE

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her 
very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a 
huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just 
yesterday you took away my license and then today you expect     
me to show it to you."

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CARTOON TIME

NO FAIRY TALE

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A LAWYER AND THE BLONDE

A lawyer and a blonde were sitting next to each other at the 
bar. The lawyer leaned over to her and asked if she would 
like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and dozing,just 
wanted to take a nap, so she said no and rolled over to the 
window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persisted and explained that the game was really 
easy and a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you 
don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa."

She still didn't want to play and tried to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, said, "Okay, if you don't 
know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the 
answer, I will pay you $50" figuring that since she is a 
blonde that he will easily win the match.

That caught the blonde's attention and, figuring that there 
would be no end to this torment unless she played, she 
agreed to the game. 

The lawyer asked the first question: "What's the distance 
from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde didn't say a word, reached into her purse, pulled 
out a five-dollar bill and handed it to the lawyer.

Then it was the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What 
goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer looked at her with a puzzled look. He took out his 
laptop and searched all his references. He tapped into the 
digital cellphone via infra-red wireless connection to his 
modem port and searched the internet. Frustrated, he sent 
E-mail to all his co-workers, and friends. All to no avail. 
After over an hour, he woke the blonde and handed her $50. 
The blonde politely took the $50 and turned away to get back 
to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little baffled, woke the 
blonde and asked, "Well, so what IS the answer?" Without a 
word, the blonde reached into her purse, handed the lawyer 
$5, and went back to sleep.

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THE LANDING

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had 
hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline 
had a policy, which required the first officer to stand at 
the door while the passengers exited, give a smile, and a 
"Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of 
his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers 
in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart 
comment, but no one seemed annoyed. 

Finally everyone had gotten off except for one little old 
lady walking with a cane. She approached and asked, 
conspiratorially, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" 

"Why no Ma'am, what is it?" 

"Did we land or were we shot down?"

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I WANT TO BUY A T.V

A blonde walked in a store and said that she wanted to buy 
that T.V. The employee said "I'm sorry, we don't sell to 
blondes". 

So she went and died her hair and went back and said "I want 
to buy that T.V". He said, "Mama, I'm sorry, we don't sell 
to blondes". 

So she went and got a complete make over. She went back and 
said "I want to buy that T.V." He said "Mama, I'm sorry, we 
don't sell to blondes". 

She said How did you know I'm really a blonde"? He said, 
Lady, that's not a T.V., that's a MICROWAVE.

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