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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Keep Good Health!

"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented 
by a good teacher." 
- Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

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QUICK JOKE

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in 
logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing 
up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his 
balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for 
help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and 
runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the 
bank?" 

A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his 
savings?"

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CARTOON TIME

BEFORE, AFTER A COFFEE

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THREE LEGGED CHICKEN

A man was driving along a rural road one day when he saw a 
three legged chicken. He was amused enough to drive along 
side it for a while, as he was driving he noticed the 
chicken was running 30 mph. Pretty fast chicken, he thought, 
I wonder just how fast it can run. So he sped up and the 
chicken did too! They were now moving along the road at 45 
mph! The man in the car sped up again, to his surprise the 
chicken was still running ahead of him at 60 mph!!! 

Suddenly the chicken turned off the road and ran down a long 
driveway leading to a farmhouse. The man followed the 
chicken to the house and saw a man in the yard and dozens of 
three legged chickens. The man in the car called out to the 
farmer "How did you get all these three legged chickens?" 

The farmer replied, "I breed 'em. Ya see it's me, my wife 
and my son living here and we all like to eat the chicken 
leg. Since a chicken only has two legs, I started breeding 
this three legged variety so we could all eat our favorite 
piece." 

"That's amazing!" said the driver "How do they taste?" 

"Don't rightly know, can't catch 'em."

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SLEEPING PILLS

An exhausted looking man dragged himself in to the Doctor's 
office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. 
They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of 
sleep." 

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging 
through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some 
new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these 
and your trouble will be over." 

"Great," the man answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give 
it a shot." 

A few weeks later the man returned, looking worse than ever. 
"Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!" 

"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, 
shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the 
market!" 

"That may be true," answered the man wearily, "but I'm still 
up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one 
it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!!!"

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THE MISSIONARY'S HORSE

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert 
for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a 
missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and 
collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and 
nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the 
missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way 
out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the 
house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse 
and give it back when I reach the town?" 

The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing 
about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it 
go and 'Amen' to make it stop." 

Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, ok." So he 
gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse 
starts walking. Then he say, "Thank God, thank God, " and 
the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man 
say, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank 
God" and the horse just takes off. 

Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing 
everything he can to make the horse stop. "Whoa, stop, 
hold on!!!!" Finally he remembers, "Amen!!" 

The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. The man leans back 
in the saddle and says, "Thank God".

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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
link and credit would be nice but is in no way required.

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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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