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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Good Wishes to All!

"I criticize by creation - not by finding fault." 
- Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

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QUICK JOKE

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?      

1. No mind. 
2. No business.

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CARTOON TIME

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NEW PET

This guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he 
had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner 
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. 

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which 
came in a little white box to use for its house. He took the 
box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided 
he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a 
drink. 

He asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to 
Frank's with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer 
from his new pet. 

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then 
asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a 
drink with me?" 

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So 
he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He 
decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face 
up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! 
Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with 
me?" 

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first 
time! I'm putting on my shoes."

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PARROT AT AUCTION

An ugly old lady went to an auction sale. There she was 
attracted to a parrot in a gilded cage. The parrot was 
large, very healthy looking and exquisitely colored. The 
old lady was so attracted by the parrot's appearance that 
she couldn't help but bid on it. She bid, determined to 
have the parrot, but another bidder competed and drove the 
price very high. The old lady eventually bought the parrot. 
She was at the cashier's desk and told the cashier that she 
was so excited about the beautiful appearance of the parrot 
that she had neglected to ask if it could talk. 

The parrot spoke up, "Who do you think was bidding against 
you?"

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

NEVER Get a speeding ticket again... 
Beat the tricks that beat you! 
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DO THE LAUNDRY

I just wanted to let you know that I have recently been 
diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit 
Disorder ... this is how it goes: 

I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice 
the newspaper on the table. OK, I'm going to do the laundry 
... but first I'm going to glance through the newspaper. 

After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I'll just 
put the newspaper in the recycle stack ... but first I'll 
look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills 
to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook? Oops ... 
there's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. 
I'm going to look for that checkbook ... but first I need to 
put the glass in the sink. 

I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor 
flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink 
and ... there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. 
"What's it doing here" I'll just put it away ... 

But first I need to water those plants. I head for the door 
and ... Aaaagh! Stepped on the dog. Dog needs to be fed. 
Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants ... but 
first I need to feed the dog. 

By the end of the day, Laundry is not done, newspapers are 
still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not 
paid, checkbook is still lost, the dog ate the remote control 
... and, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done 
today, I'm baffled because ... I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!!! 

I realize this condition is serious ... I'd get help, but 
first ... I think I'll check my e-mail!!!

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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