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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Read Good Books!

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. 

- Martin Fraquhar Tupper

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QUICK JOKE

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EMPLOYMENT INTERVIEW

There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious 
law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul. 

Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come 
from good families. Both are equally attractive and well 
spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he 
takes each aside and asks, 'Why did you become a lawyer?' 
In seconds, he chooses Paul. 

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside. 'I don't understand why I 
was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a 
lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, 
that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all 
I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world 
did you tell him?' 

'I said I became a lawyer because of my hands,' Robert 
replies. 

'Your hands? What do you mean?' 

'Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in 
either of them!'

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HELICOPTER

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an 
electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's 
electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to 
the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the 
helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport. 

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew 
a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. 
The pilot's sign said 'WHERE AM I?' in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the 
aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building 
window. Their sign said 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.'

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the 
course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot 
how the 'YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER' sign helped determine 
their position.

The pilot responded 'I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT 
building because they gave me a technically correct, but 
completely useless answer.'

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NEW BULL

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family 
ranch. 

Unfortunely, after just a few years, they are in financial 
trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the 
ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed 
their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her 
sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, 
I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." 

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, 
and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he 
will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives 
to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell 
her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 
"I want to send a telelgram to my sister telling her that 
I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the 
trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can 
haul it home." 

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help 
her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." 

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 
left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her 
sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods 
and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". 

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know 
that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck 
and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if 
you send her just the word"comfortable?" 

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. 
She'll read it very slowly."

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