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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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INTRODUCTION

Be Happy!

"Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on 
your way down." 

- Jimmy Durante

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QUICK JOKE

Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard 
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CARTOON TIME

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COLLEGE PROFESSOR

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his 
new college class.

He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone 
who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.

"Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a 
moron?" the professor asked.

The boy replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you 
standing there all by yourself."

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BOY AND THE BIBLE

A little boy opened the big old family Bible and with 
fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. 
Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and 
looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that 
had been pressed in between the pages.

"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: 
"It's Adam's suit!"

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES

1. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons 
is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 
2. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already 
sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If 
you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me 
enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If 
you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. 

3. Hi. Now you say something. 

4. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, 
so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. 

5. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his 
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your 
message to myself with one of these magnets. 

6. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of 
receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or 
a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity 
through their office and do not need their picture taken. If 
you're still with me, leave your name and number and they 
will get back to you. 

7. This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic 
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your 
name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll 
think about returning your call. 

8. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't 
like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's 
you. 

9. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone 
right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone 
until I call you back. 

10. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home 
cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. 
Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a 
message. 

11. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to 
remain silent. Everything you say can and will be recorded 
and will be used by us.

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

How To Stop Worrying (About Diabetes) And Start Living!

   ... The Right Meal, Controls, Medication And Information!

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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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