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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Keep Good Friends!

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if 
they met on the street.
 
- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

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QUICK JOKE

BOB: Did you know that my grandfather died in the 
concentration camp? 

SARA: How? 

BOB: He fell off the gun tower

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CARTOON TIME

GOOD ADVICE

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TRAFFIC STOP!

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving 
very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled 
the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that 
evening. 

"Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads 
stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then 
there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served 
these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five 
o' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' 
course I had to go in for a couple of Guiness - couldn't be 
rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another 
bottle for later .." And the man fumbled around in his coat 
until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for 
inspection. 

The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you 
to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test." 

Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me???!!!"

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CEO ADVICE

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high 
tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him 
privately and presented him with three numbered 
envelopes....#1,#2,#3. "Open these if you run up against a 
problem you don't think you can solve," the departing CEO 
said.

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months 
later, sales took a downturn and Morris was really catching 
a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the 
envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first 
envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

Morris, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully 
laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied 
with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street -- responded 
positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon 
behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a 
slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. 
Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly 
opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." 
This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company 
once again fell on difficult times. Morris went to his 
office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.

The message said, ..."Prepare three envelopes."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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HONEST LAWYER?

An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd 
and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she 
realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began 
interviewing young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one 
of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our 
personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned 
forward and continued, "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' 
lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you 
something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father 
lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I 
paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first 
case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me 
for the money."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

How To Stop Worrying (About Diabetes) And Start Living!

   ... The Right Meal, Controls, Medication And Information!

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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
link and credit would be nice but is in no way required.

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this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
send mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] and we'll try to please you!

Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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