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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Wishes for Happy Life!

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his      
hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
 
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

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QUICK JOKE

How did one ocean say "good bye" to the other?

They say "sea you later!"

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CARTOON TIME

HEALTHY ATTACK!

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CALL THE POLICE!.......

I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that 
I had left the light on in the shed. 

She could see from the bedroom window. As I looked for 
myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking 
things. 

I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in 
this area to help at this time, but they would send someone 
over as soon as they were available. I said OK, hung up, and 
waited one minute, then phoned the police back.

"Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were 
people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them 
now cause I've shot them all."

Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in 
the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they 
caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I 
thought you said that you'd shot them!"

I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody 
available!"

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BETTER JOB!

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who 
was better on his computer. 

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of 
hearing all the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am 
going to set up a test which will take two hours and I will 
judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused. 
They did spreadsheets. 
They wrote reports. 
They sent faxes. 
They sent e-mail. 
They sent out e-mail with attachments. 
They downloaded. 
They did some genealogy reports. 
They made cards. 
They did every known job. 

But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly 
flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and, 
of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed in every curse 
word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them 
restarted their computers. Satan started searching 
frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost 
everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files 
from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became even 
more irate.

"Wait! He cheated! How did he do it??!!"

God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves"

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THE MOUSE

One day a mouse was walking on the banks of a river that ran 
through the jungle. He saw a Hippopotamus in the water and 
shouted to the Hippopotamus, "Hey you, come out of the water 
onto this bank, NOW". The Hippopotamus lumbered onto the 
bank as requested. The mouse then said, "OK, you can get 
back in the water now". 

The mouse continued walking along the bank until he came 
upon a lion having a little dip in the river. The mouse 
shouted across to the lion, "Hey you, up here, on this bank 
now!". The lion was a little concerend about this 'jumped 
up' mouse giving him orders but he complied and climbed up 
onto the bank. The mouse then said, "OK, you can get back 
into the water now". The lion shrugged and returned to the 
river. 

The mouse continued his trip along the banks of the river 
until he came across an elephant having a good old soak. 
The mouse shouted to the elephant. "Hey you, Mr. Elephant, 
up here on this bank now!". The elephant lumbered out the 
water and was then told by the mouse to return to the 
water. 

The elephant however was a little bit annoyed about having 
his soak disturbed so he said to the mouse, "What is going 
on? I've just seen you call the Hippopotamus, the lion and 
now me out of the water, why are you doing this?". 

The mouse replied, "If I find the son of a gun who stole my 
swimming trunks, I will kill him!".

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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
link and credit would be nice but is in no way required.

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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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