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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Good Day to All!

It is better to have a permanent income than to be 
fascinating.
 
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

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QUICK JOKE

Two blonds bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one 
dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and 
sold all their melons for the same price they'd paid for 
them. 

After counting their money at the end of the day, they 
realize they'd ended up with no more money than they'd 
started with. "See!" said one. "I told you we should have 
got a bigger truck."

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CARTOON TIME

LIFE GUARD!

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I AM WINNING....

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out
pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get 
some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine
madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. 

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her 
antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking  if
someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and 
shouts: "Can't you see I'm winning?!"

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BLONDE MATH

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked 
the bartender for some drinks: 
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." 
Bartender: "What is a B and C?" 
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." 
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." 
Bartender: "What's a G and T?" 
Redhead: "Gin and tonic." 
Blonde: "I'll have a 15." 
Bartender: "What's a 15?" 
Blonde: "7 and 7"

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HIT A PIG

A young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss 
sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but 
come evening he's half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB 
radio to check if he's all right. 

"I've got a problem, Boss. I'm stuck here. I've hit a pig!" 

"Ah well, these things happen sometimes," the boss says. 
"Just drag the carcass off the road so nobody else hits it 
in the dark." 

"But he's not dead, boss. He's gotten tangled up on the bull 
bar, and I've tried to untangle him, but he's kicking and 
squealing, and he's real big boss. I'm afraid he's gonna 
hurt me!" 

"Never mind," says the boss. "There's a .303 under the tarp 
in the back. Get that out and shoot him. Then drag the 
carcass off the road and come on home." 

"Okay, boss." 

Another half an hour goes by, but there's still not a peep 
from the young fella. The boss gets back on the CB. "What's 
the problem, son?" 

"Well, I did what you said boss, but I'm still stuck." 

"What's up? Did you drag the pig off the road like I said?" 

"Yeah boss, but his motorcycle is still jammed under the 
truck."

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Receive FREE information on how ITT Technical Institute can 
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wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
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Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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