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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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INTRODUCTION

Love All!

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all 
possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. 

- James Branch Cabell

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QUICK JOKE

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her 
minister. 

"Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a dreadful fight!" 

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as 
bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first 
fight." 

"I know, I know," said Joanna. "But what am I going to do 
with the BODY?"

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CARTOON TIME

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COUNTRY LANE...

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their 
way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the 
road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of 
trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young 
farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. 
He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to 
pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted 
and minutes later the car was free.

The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're 
the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband 
looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer,
"When do you have time to plough your land? At night?"

"No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I 
put the water in the hole"

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THREE MEN, A CHICKEN, AND A COW

There were three men traveling together: a priest, a farmer, 
and a lawyer. It was starting to get late and they needed to 
find a place to sleep. They came across a farm and asked the 
farmer there if they could spend the night. He said, "That's 
fine, but my guest room is only big enough for two people. 
One of you will have to sleep in the barn." 

The priest said, "I don't mind sleeping with God's 
creatures, I will take the barn." 

So they all agreed and went to their rooms. 

About an hour later, there was a knock at the guest room 
door and there stood the priest. "There is a chicken in 
there that won't stop clucking! I'm sorry, but I'm going to 
have to sleep in the guest room." 

"That's okay," said the farmer, "I'll sleep in the barn. 
After all, I'm used to it." 

They all agreed and traded places. About an hour later, 
there was a knock at the guest room door, and there stood 
the farmer. "I can't stand the odor from that cow in there 
anymore. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to sleep in the 
guest room." 

"Well, I guess that leaves me," said the lawyer. 

So he went to sleep in the barn. About an hour later, there 
was a knock at the guest room door, and there stood the 
chicken and the cow.

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CHICKEN FARMING!

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided that he 
was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and 
become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, 
which he bought. It turns out that his next-door neighbor 
was also a chicken farmer. 

The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken 
farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, 
I'll give you 100 chickens." 

The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later, the 
new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going. 

The new farmer said, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died." 

The neighbor said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had 
any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more." 

Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stopped in 
again. 

The new farmer said, "You're not going to believe this, but 
the second 100 chickens died too." 

Astounded, the neighbor asked, "What did you do to them? What 
went wrong?" 

"Well," said the new farmer, "I'm not sure. But I think I'm 
not planting them far enough apart."

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