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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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INTRODUCTION

Be Cheerful!

Never mistake motion for action.

- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

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QUICK JOKE

My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for 
fishing bait in my garden. Uncovering a many-legged 
creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mother. 

"No, honey, he won't do for bait," his mother said. "He's 
not an earthworm." 

"He's not?" Eddy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he 
from?"

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CARTOON TIME

SNOW PLOW.....

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BLUE SILK PAJAMAS......

A man phones home from his office and tells his wife, 
"Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing 
for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave 
right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and 
especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to 
pick them up." He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything 
and rushes off. A week later he returns. 

His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip, dear?" He says, 
"Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk 
pajamas." His wife smiles and says, "Oh no I didn't. I put 
them in your tackle box!"

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

How To Stop Worrying (About Diabetes) And Start Living!

   ... The Right Meal, Controls, Medication And Information!

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THE DOPELER EFFECT....

The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asked readers to 
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding or 
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. 


Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as 
on the CNN Tower. 

Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and 
the recipient who doesn't get it. 

Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly. 

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all 
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth 
explodes and it's like a serious bummer. 

Dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter 
when they come at you rapidly. 

Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head. 

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are 
running late. 

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 

Glibido: All talk and no action. 

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, 
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start 
with.

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DRIVING TEST.....

The following are a sampling of supposedly real answers 
received on exams given by the California Department of 
Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School 
for moving violation offenders).

 Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the 
    road?
 A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

 Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a 
    four-way stop at the same time?
 A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper 
    sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

 Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
 A: Your car.

 Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an 
    accident?
 A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

 Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for 
    drunk driving?
 A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

 Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could 
    no longer drive lawfully?
 A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

 Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being 
    passed?
 A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

 Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic 
    light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
 A: The color.

 Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
 A: Heavy psychedelics.

 Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
 A: Carry loaded weapons.

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if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
send mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] and we'll try to please you!

Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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