From: R.P.
Number One Idiot of 2003
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. A woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that
she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I
told her that she better bring her daughter to the emergency room right
away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiots of 2003
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of
the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out
that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
Number Three Idiot of 2003
Orlando: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to SunTrust. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note
to the SunTrust teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling that
he wasn't the brightest light on the Christmas tree, told him that she could
not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a SunTrust deposit
slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said
"OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later as he was waiting in
line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
Number Four Idiot of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said
he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't
believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that
the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the
police and gave the name and
address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber
two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
Idiot Number Five of 2003
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was
made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Ooh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
Idiot Number Six of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
walked away.
----- Tamara P Duvall mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Lexington, Virginia, USA Formerly of Warsaw, Poland
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