From: R.P.
part 1
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where
did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn't have fit you."
part 2 To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
part 3 What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
part 4 Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
part 5
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to have a wife or a lover. The architect said he enjoyed time with
his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The
artist said he enjoyed time with his lover, because of the passion and
mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a lover, they will each assume you
are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office and get
some work done."
part 6
An engineer was walking one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If
you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took it out, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again he took it out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why
won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
part 7
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I
don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi George, say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow,
aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
----- Tamara P Duvall Lexington, Virginia, USA Formerly of Warsaw, Poland http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd/
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