Two keys hang in an undertaker's office - one for the organ in the chapel; the other for one of the cars in the garage.
Two small signs above the keys read "Hymn" and "Hearse." ...................... Margaret and Stephanie were chatting and one asked the other, "Margaret, do you talk to your husband while you're having passionate sex?" Margaret answered, "Heavens No! Why would you want to make a phone call at a time like that?" .............................. My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased ten new dresses. "Ten!" he hollered, "What could any woman want with ten new dresses??" My mom calmly replied, "Ten new pairs of shoes." ................................... You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. ................................. Have you heard Santa and his reindeers landed on the outhouse? Santa hollered out I SAID THE SCHMIDT HOUSE! .............................. Once there was a boy named Odd. He was the butt of jokes his whole life, because of his name. Eventually he grew up to be a very successful fisherman and owner of three fish processing plants. When Odd was about to die, he said, "People have been teasing me my whole life and I don't want them doing that after I'm dead, so don't put my name on my gravestone." After Odd died, people saw his blank tomb-stone and said . . ." That's Odd ". ..................... An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river. "What did you do that for?" Asked a passing giraffe. "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago." "Wow, what a memory" commented the giraffe. "Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall". Jean in Poole To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
