Joe had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?"
"No, she sure didn't," sobbed Joe. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get the hell out." "Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father. "Oh boy, dad, did I get it all wrong," Joe groaned. "I said, 'MY Dear, you have a face that would stop a clock!'" ..................................... Little Johnny was practicing the violin in the living room while his Uncle was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Johnny's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. His uncle listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For hells sake, Johnny, can't you play something this damn dog doesn't know?!" ................................. I believe my young daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don't know why she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses. I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though. She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart. She said, "All right, I can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,' but not the 'N' and the 'Z.'" ................................. Little Johnny walks up to his Aunt and says , "my God, Aunt Edna why are you so damn ugly?" His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen. and screamed, "how could you say to your aunt is so damn ugly! "Because she is," said Little Johnny. His mother said, "You go back in there and apologize to her, right now! I mean it, you tell her you're sorry!" Little Johnny goes into the living room, walked over to his aunt and said, "Aunt Edna, I am sorry you're so damn ugly." Jean in Poole To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
