Sue and Spiders, I think a lot of us can be thankful of our birthplace - before we moved to Suffolk, I used to work for the Community Relations Council, amongst other duties, going into the homes helping the menfolk with form-filling etc., and teaching Asian ladies English. This latter always seemed a bit of an abortive job, as most of the ladies were not allowed to leave the house on their own, and were fully veiled unless they were inside the home. They were not allowed to see male doctors, and generally their lives were very circumscribed. The one case which really upset me, though, was that of a young Moslem girl from Sheffield, who used to visit the family that I was mainly involved with. This little girl had lived in England since she was three, so had gone all through the British schooling system, had done really well despite the difficulties, and whose only desire was to train to become a nurse. But - she left school on the day after she was sixteen, and was whisked away on the Saturday two days later to Pakistan, to marry a chap, much older than she was, and whom she had never clapped eyes on previously. She was, understandably enough, absolutely distraught, as was I, but there was nothing anyone could do about it. I do sometimes wonder now how she is, and just hope that she has been a more liberal influence on her husband, and that he will allow any female children they have had to be able to go out into the world, and do whatever job they want, and not be so restrained by their male family members.
I know - also from the CRC - that a great many arranged marriages work very well, but mainly this seemed to be where the two people concerned had had a chance to get to know one another. I also believe that cultural influences are very important, and should not be thrown out willy-nilly - but sometimes, when these things are imposed on someone whose influences have been formed in the Western society, the outcome can be disastrous, for both parties. I don't pretend to know the answers, just to hope and pray that education will allow girls like Shamila to be able to become nurses and teachers - or whatever else they wish - without feeling that they have brought shame on their families, and those familes occasionally dishing out sometimes fatal punishments for that so-called shame. Another one stepping down from the soap-box! Carol - in Suffolk UK. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
