From: T.W.
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then
to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was
more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax," I told
myself - but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking
all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and
employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I
would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly
we are doing here?" Things weren't going so great at home either. One
evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.
She spent that night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in.
He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but� your
thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job,
you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation
with the boss. Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip a-quiver. "You think as much as
college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you
keep on thinking we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd
had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the
radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors...
they didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering
for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining
your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I
never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a noneducational video;
last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided
thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot
better at home.
Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. Soon, I
will be able to vote Republican.
----- Tamara P Duvall Lexington, Virginia, USA Formerly of Warsaw, Poland http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd/
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