From: R.P
Because I'm a man...
...when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after
hypothermia has set in.
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...when the car isn't running right, I will pop the hood and stare at the
engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us
will say, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these
computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then
drink beer.
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...when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me
while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do,
so for you this isn't a problem.
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...I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries like milk or bread. I
cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I
know, these are the same thing.
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...when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it
apart, despite evidence that this will just cost twice as much when the
repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
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...I must hold the TV remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the
thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one
time I survived by holding a calculator).
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...I know we're not all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and
ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how the
hell could he know where we're going?
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...there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always
either women, cars, beer, or football. I have to make up something else when
you ask, so don't ask.
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...I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or
talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to.
Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And
don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
----- Tamara P Duvall Lexington, Virginia, USA Formerly of Warsaw, Poland http://lorien.emufarm.org/~tpd/
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