> HERE AT LAST ARE CLEANING TIPS THAT MAKE TOTAL SENSE!!!!!!! > > DIRT: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful > filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF > factor of 15 and leave it alone. > > COBWEBS: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from > the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points > out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look > confused and exclaim "What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter > on them and call them holiday decorations) > > PET HAIR: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways > by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn > play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out > cold drafts in winter) > > DUSTING: If dusting is really out of control, simply place a showy urn > on the coffee table and insist that "This is where Grandma wanted us to > scatter her ashes." > > GENERAL CLEANING: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner > with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave > dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an > exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I > clean and I still don't get anywhere." If unexpected company is coming, > pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As > you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob > vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but > Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive." > > KITCHEN: Light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, > turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake > sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to > clean. > > Always keep several get well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests > arrive, you can say you've been sick and unable to clean.
To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
