Hi spiders The following howlers were allegedly gleaned from some RE (religious education) exam papers. Not sure if they've been on before but they are amusing all the same.
No offence intended towards anyone in any form ok... 1. Adam and Eve were created from an apple. 2. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. 3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night. 4. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. 5. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. 6. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. 7. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments. 8. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. 9. The fifth commandment is to humour thy father and mother. 10. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. 11.Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. 12.The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed. 13. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. 14. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. 15. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. 16. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. 17. St.John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his [Jesus'] head. 18. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. 19. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone". 20. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. 21. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. 22. One of the opossums was St Matthew who was also a taxi man. 23. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. 24. A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony. Nicky in Suffolk where despite the weather in the rest of the country, flooding and general mayhem, while it's been dry within a 4 mile radius of us for days!, we've just had some much needed rain - not too much and just right for giving the allotment a good watering - saves me a job bliss I can make some lace instead. To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
