>1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. > >2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. > >3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. > >4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. > >5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. > >6. No one is listening until you fart. > >7. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. > >8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. > >9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. > >10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes > >11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. > >12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. > >13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. > >14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. > > 15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. > >16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. > >17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. > >18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. > >19. A closed mouth gathers no foot. > >20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. > >21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. > >22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. > >23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. > >24. Never miss a good chance to shut up. > >25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass. Then things get worse. > >26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. > >27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." > >28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. > >29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11. > >30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Jean in Poole To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
