You know your church is redneck if .......
>...the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. >...people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was >used to catch 'em. >... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up >... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. >... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!) >... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale". >... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory. > ... Baptism is referred to as "branding". > ... high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. > ... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. > ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub. > ... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue. >... the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy. > ... instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call. > ... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks. > ... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink". > ... "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too. > ... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear" Jean in Poole To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
