From: m.D.
OFFICE MEMO Greetings Date: 12/23/2004
Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the 12 days of Christmas: The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, thereby providing a considerable savings in maintenance.
The two turtle doves' romancing during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.
The three French hens wil remain intact. After all, everybody loves the French. (?)
The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, complete with call waiting.
The five golden rings have been put on hold. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-bills and technology provide a more balanced portfolio.
Three of the six geese-a-laying will be let go. It is felt that a higher production rate than one egg per goose per day will be needed, requiring a tougher selection procedure.
Seven swans-a-swimming are primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order.
Eight maids-a-milking have been under scrutiny by the EEOC. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending a-mentoring, or a-mulching.
Nine ladies dancing will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.
The high cost of Lords plus travel expense has prompted a suggestion to replace the ten Lords-a-leaping with out-of-work congressmen. Leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed.
Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is simply a case of a band getting too big. They will be replaced with a string quartet.
Action is pending over a lawsuit seeking expansion to include the legal profession. (Thirteen lawyers a-suing)
Preliminary studies indicate that stretching delivery over a 12-day
period is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will
be greatly improved.
It is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be required in the future to stay competitive.
In the meantime, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Date: 12/23/2004
-- Tamara P Duvall http://t-n-lace.net/ Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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