Why Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate
is just another snack. You can be President. You
can never be pregnant. You can wear a white
T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt
to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive
to another gas station restroom because this one
is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way
to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental -$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're
talking to them.
The ooccasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle
your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars. You get extra
credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can
still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three
pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are
unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly
usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one
pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You
have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!

David in Ballarat

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