----- Original Message ----- From: Danny W<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: Danny<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2005 11:36 PM Subject: Fw: Belive it or not --
Danny [EMAIL PROTECTED]<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> [EMAIL PROTECTED]<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> http://wildgun1.com<http://wildgun1.com/> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Montani Semper Liberi ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Never take life seriously, no one ever gets out alive anyway" `````````````` It's better to have everyone think you're ignorant, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt ``````````````````````````````````````` Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, But, rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- "WOW--What a Ride!" ``````````````````````````````````````` Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance ``````````````````````````````````````` Dying for freedom isn't the worst that could happen, being Forgotten is! ````````````````````````````````````` Recipient, Order of The Silver Rose #505-04 www.silverrose.org<http://www.silverrose.org/> Sent: Thursday, August 04, 2005 11:27 PM Subject: Belive it or not -- The last one is a gem. LICENSE TO STEAL Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper. IN THE BAG A "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didn't know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. He did - backwards. A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag. MADE FOR TV Guns For Hire, an Arizona company specializing in staged gunfights for Western movies, got a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband shot. She was sentenced to four years in jail. DO YOU ACCEPT CREDIT CARDS? A Texan convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a two-year prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a forged check. He got his prison term back, plus eight more years. YOU MEAN ME? A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. DEADHEADS A man in Orange County Municipal Court had been ticketed for driving alone in the carpool lane. He claimed that the four frozen cadavers in the mortuary van he was driving should be counted. The judged ruled that passengers must be alive to qualify. THIS WOULD BE ME The judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook. The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called, "Crook, come forward." Five of the prisoners entered the courtroom. LEARN YOUR LESSON When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times." AHH, THAT'S BETTER! A judge in Louisville decided a jury went "a little bit too far" in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years. OOPS! I BLEW THAT ONE! A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. ROGER H. COOPER CAVTROOPER5981 http://www.cavalrycountryusa.com<http://www.cavalrycountryusa.com/> http://cav_trooper0/tripod.com/<http://cav_trooper/tripod.com/> http://cav_trooper0/tripod.com/cavalrygroups/<http://cav_trooper0/tripod.com/ cavalrygroups/> "THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE DEMANDS A TIMETABLE FOR THE WAR IN IRAQ, ASK THEM TO NAME JUST ONE WAR_---ANYWHERE---THAT HAD SUCH A THING" 'WE CANNOT DEFEND FREEDOM ABROAD BY DESERTING IT AT HOME" "NO ONE HAS AFINER COMMAND OF LANGUAGE THAN THE PERSON WHO KEEPS HIS MOUTH SHUT. THE PAST AND FUTURE YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I did my best". "Let every nation know.... that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of Liberty." DO NOT WISH TO BE ANYTHING BUT WHAT YOU ARE, AND TRY TO BE THAT PERFECTLY. "BE WHO YOU ARE "BE UNFORGETABLE" To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
