My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
* Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat cr*p used in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to use a wet sponge every time I need to seal an envelope. * I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. * I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. * I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. * I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I had 363,214 angels looking out for me. * I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. * I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). * I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the £25,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program. Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour, so that even though you know its rubbish, you still HAVE to forward it too! So............If YOU don't send this email to at least 144,092 people in the next 7 minutes, BOTH your arms will fall off, you will never find true love, and you will then be committed to a maximum security prison for crimes you didn't commit where you will receive "special cuddles" and forced love from most of C wing. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician who was clinically dead by the end of the second day but to this day is kept alive on a life support machine her parents have to wind up hourly . SO MERRY CHRISTMAS... AND PLEASE, STOP SENDING ME CHAIN LETTERS!!!!!! To unsubscribe send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] containing the line: unsubscribe lace-chat [EMAIL PROTECTED] For help, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
