Mr Fenton obviously does not like shopping!

Jeanette Fischer, Western Cape, South Africa.


Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We have documented all incidents on our
video surveillance equipment.

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his
spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
five-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a box of Smarties on
lay-buy.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!" (And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

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