It's a dark, cold night and in the back street 'pub a bored landlord watches
his one, equally bored, customer, the street door opens in walks a large
male rabbit, the landlord is surprised, of course, but he hides it well and
speaks to the rabbit;
LL: Evening, rough old night, what can I get you?
R: I'll have a pint of bitter and do you do food?
LL: I'm afraid I've nothing suitable for rabbits, no salad, no carrots,
nothing like that.
R: That's okay, what can you do?
LL: I can do you a nice hot toastie, cheese and ham do you?
R: Spot on, just what I fancy, that will do perfectly.
So the landlord serves the rabbit who he enjoys his cheese and ham toastie
and his pint, takes his leave and tells the landlord he will be in again
next week, same time, same night. The landlord is no fool and tells everyone
in the neighbourhood about the talking, beer drinking, and toastie eating
rabbit, consequently the 'pub is packed the next week and the weeks after
that. Everyone is happy, the landlord is doing a roaring trade, the locals
all enjoy seeing this amazing rabbit and the rabbit is happy because the
landlord is giving him his pint and his cheese and ham toastie for free.
All was well for weeks until one night the rabbit came in and asked for his
"usual".the pint of bitter and the cheese and ham toastie. The landlord is
apologetic and explains he wasn't able to get any ham that day but he could
do the rabbit a mean cheese and onion toastie, the rabbit reluctantly
agrees, obviously nervous at this change in his usual diet. The following
week the rabbit failed to appear, or the weeks after that,
within a month the custom dropped off...no rabbit, no business and it ended
up with just the landlord and the one customer again, until one cold night
the street door slowly swung opened and a patch of mist drifted in, the
landlord rubbed his eyes as the mist drifted up to the bar and slowly took
the shape of a ghostly rabbit... (You've guessed who it is haven't you?).
The landlord, overcome with emotion sobbed:
LL: Hello there rabbit, long time no see mate, are you okay.
R: Of course I'm not bloody okay! I'm bloody dead,! I'm a ghost!
LL: Oh dear, I am sad to hear that, what did for you in the end..gun? fox?
snare?
WAIT FOR IT........
R: I'll tell you what killed me...mixing me toasties!
Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK
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