It's amazing how suddenly these things happen.  Your family are very lucky!

When my nephew was barely 2, in the bad old days before seat-belt laws 
and child-safety seats, he was riding on his mother's lap in the back 
seat of their sedan when the car was hit in a side-on collision.  No-one 
was hurt beyond bruises, thankfully, but Raymond can still tell us about 
the time the "car goes boom."  And he's always been a very careful 
driver in his adult life.

I taught my own children, from the time when their little hands could 
manage the hardware, to buckle themselves in to their seats properly, 
and  I double-checked them on every trip until they were about 5 or 6.  
My sons took to it beautifully, and I never had a problem -- I think it 
gave them a sense of power and "grown-up-ness" to comply.  My daughter, 
however, was made in a different mould (she still is...!), and saw it as 
excessive authoritarianism, and fought the seat-belt from the day she 
could squirm.  One day, when she was 3, I got a phone call from school 
-- my little kindergartener was sick and needed to come home. Anxious, 
distracted, I put DD and her baby brother in the car, clipped the baby 
in and didn't check *her* belt -- zipped out of the driveway and up the 
hill to discover she was unbelted.   And the argument began.  By then, 
we were on a narrow country road, no shoulders or turn-offs, and I was 
racking my brain trying to think of a place I could safely pull over, 
when I realized that I'd reached the T intersection that led to the 
school:  there was a stop-sign there, and a little slope down to it.  So 
I let the car go a little faster than I should have, then jammed on the 
brakes.  She had been in her seat but unbelted, and she, with her seat 
and all, went tumbling into the back of my seat.  No hurt at all, not 
even a bruise, but the scream of outrage from her almost made me laugh.  
I was able to pull over shortly after the turn, and belted her in with a 
*huge* scold, as logical as I could make it in her terms.

I think this might have been the first time I told any of my kids 
something that their father and I repeated many times in the years to 
come:  "The rules are there for a REASON.  You may not like the rules, 
but if you have problem with them, ask what the reason for them is 
before you go breaking them! You just might decide it's better to obey 
the rules instead!"  As they got older, we added more details to this 
maxim, suitable for their ages, but the basic message now gets repeated 
back to us!

But my daughter always buckled her belt, and correctly, after that.  
These days, at age 22, she still doesn't drive. I do hope there's no 
connection!  (sigh)

We were very lucky that it only needed a simple lesson like this to 
teach them well.  I can only imagine and sympathize with what you and 
your son and DIL are feeling right now.  Ah, well, every family needs 
its stories, and this one could have been so much worse.  Best wishes 
for you all!

Beth Schoenberg
--- in sunny and warm downtown Kambah, Canberra


Sue wrote:
> I am thanking god that my daughter in law is so strict about my three 
> grandchildren 7, 4 and 19 months being on their booster seats and baby
> chair and securely strapped in because on Saturday they were in a horrific 
> car smash and got knocked across the road into a lampost. Donna
> her mum and the three children got minor cuts and have quite severe bruising 
> of the face and body but they are alive and well but very
> shocked.  The air ambulance, ambulance and hospital were all marvellous and 
> we thank them all. 
>  
> Count your blessings, I just have.
>  
> Sue M Harvey, Norfolk UK
>
>   

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