Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your  emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an  address?
Caller:  No,  I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your  emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else  taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature  of your emergency?
Caller: I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine  eleven.
Caller:    I  thought you just said it was  nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and  nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller:     Honey, I may be old, but I'm not  stupid.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of  your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first  child?
Caller:     No, you idiot! This is her  husband!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.... Darn......I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling  from?
Caller:    I'm at a pay phone. North  and Foster.
Dispatcher:  ! Sir, an ambulance is on the  way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller:    No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller:   Running from the Police


Jean in Poole, Dorset, UK
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