Been there, done that... at least for part of the way :)
From: R.P.
I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all
without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and
communicated with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for
Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and
2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I
figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140
characters of space. That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up
for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific
Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell
phone and every other
program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything
except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not
ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf
bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get
lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I
keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [Blue tooth
but it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once
and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as
everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to
take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady
inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long
time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,
"Re-cal-cu-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was
like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh
and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would
make a right turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the
cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as
Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me (after 50+ years I certainly
hope so).
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still
haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to
run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the
dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings. It was a lot easier when
it was connected to a cord (for the kids out there reading this, yes,
there used to be a cord attached to the phone - and we only had one
phone in the house! I won't even go into "party lines" but older folks
know what I'm talking about).
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up
every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle
on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time
I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth
reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take
them in with me. Now, I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper
or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."
Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
--
Tamara P Duvall http://t-n-lace.net/
Lexington, Virginia, USA (Formerly of Warsaw, Poland)
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