[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: "Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your host for "Firing Line," William F. Buckley, <yawn> and if I sound rawther bored it is because I am. It is not easy using very laaarge words to express the most pedantic thoughts. We are going to have a debate on the death penalty tonight. I will let my trusty conservative sidekick, Michael Kinsley, who Ted Turner and myself like to pretend is a liberal so we won't have to deal with those people handle the boring details." Michael Kinsley: <Tee hee> Thank you, Mr. Buckley. I will let each of the guests introduce themselves while I write down clever things I might be able to say because I can't think very fast. First the anti-death penalty side: Pope John Paul II: Thank you, Mr. Kinsley. I am the Pope. In my encyclical I quoted our Lord: Suffer the little children... Bill: We don't need none of your Papal Bull. Ha ha, ho ho. <choke, snort> Jackie: Ha. That's a good one, Bill. I can't stop laughing. Ouch! Stop that. Do I have to sit next to this guy? Charles Manson: Oh, stop your screeching. I have a lot better women than you. Jackie: I don't mean you. I mean him. Michael Kinsley: Tee hee. That was a great one, Bill. Wish I could think of those things. But that's the way he wanted it Jackie. President Clinton: She screeches just like Paula Jo - oops, I mean Hilla - no, I mean the way Chelsea does. Your pain is my pain, Jackie. <Bites lip> You know how it is when you are away from home. Michael Kinsley: Can we get back to the anti-death penalty side? Mario Cuomo: Thank you, Mr. Kinsley. My name is Mario Cuomo and I would like to say... Bill: Nobody cares what you say, Maaaarioooo. You're beaten, boy. Ha ha ha ha. <choke, snort> Jackie: That's telling him, Bill. Boy you're good. Ha ha ha ha ha. Charlie Manson: Hey, you want me and my girls to take care of them for you? We aren't against no death penalty. President Clinton: No, no, no, that's alright, Charlie. You taxpayers - well not you, Charlie - are paying me to do a job and we got people on the White House staff that can take care of enemies. Michael Kinsley: Yeah that was good, Bill. But let's let the other side say something, shall we? Bill: We don't need that Papal Bull. Haaa haaa <choking up again> Jackie: It just gets funnier and funnier, Bill. <wiping eyes and blowing nose> Michael Kinsley: That's just so funny, Bill. I'm going to go write it down before I forget it. William F. Buckley: Well this has been a very enlightening discourse. Thank you all, ladies and gentlemen. Best, Terry "Lawyer - one trained to circumvent the law" - The Devil's Dictionary Subscribe/Unsubscribe, email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] In the body of the message enter: subscribe/unsubscribe law-issues
