Rich has to be BKO 

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Dr. Michael Benjamin
Community Psychiatrist

On May 3, 2011, at 1:34 PM, "Peter Cass" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Maybe a time for the updating of a few names
> 
> The Mad Dr - A reference to Dr Mike the lists resident psychologist??
> 
> PC2 (Pete C T'Other One  as in PCTOO) - if Im trying too hard, just stop 
> reading
> 
> Eric the full B (piss poor reference to Monty Pythons Eric the Half a Bee  - 
> Eric Barlier)
> 
> Blunts - A once upon a time football team in LOTG that has now given up 
> playing football
> 
> Barcodes - Reference to Newcassell Footbal Club. Unimaginative lot thats 
> wanted to play "sexy football" and 10 years later appointed Alan Smith as 
> captain
> 
> Im dying to think up one for Rich W but I need some help here
> 
> 
> ----- Original Message ----- From: <[email protected]>
> To: <[email protected]>
> Sent: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 9:50 PM
> Subject: [LU] Archive time: The Leeds List Glossary
> 
> 
>> The Leeds List Glossary
>> 
>> A collection of nicknames, acronyms and descriptions all purporting to
>> relate to the unofficial Leeds United AFC internet mailing list,
>> composed or edited by Betty Boocock, with several contributions coming
>> from the individuals concerned. So if you're confused and bewildered by
>> the in-jokes and strange references on the list, read on and let
>> enlightenment flow...
>> 
>> 
>> ADOLPHI - Home of the pre match list meet, actually called the
>> Adelphi, but renamed when it was suggested that the NF might have
>> once met there.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> ARMCHAIR - Usual seat taken by most opinionated members of the
>> list, preferably in foreign climes where the best view is always
>> available. NB the enormous motorised armchair is Betty's large car
>> built by French communists.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> BETTY - according to Andy 'Blood On Yer Boots' King, "I seem to
>> remember earlier this year you sorted out a few of the listers
>> (Maggie, Squiggle ?) problems, and for a while the list was more like
>> a Dear Aunty Betty The Agony Aunt list than a Leeds list". According
>> to Guy: "Because of your Betty Boothroyd tendencies during a number
>> of disputes." If the truth be known it is because my Aunty Betty
>> Boocock is the only member of the family still left in Swinnow.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> BLIND JOHN - Mr John Lukic (a former custodian of the onion bag).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> BMW - The Best Mate's Wife. Euphemism for mistress, only used by
>> cads and bounders.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> BOTL - Birds On The List. The women who contribute to life on the
>> list, and that's real women, not transvestites like Betty and Maggie.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> BTW - Standard computer nerd acronym for "by the way" . Apparently
>> this saves ink.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> CASHBURN, NEWMONEY - (Come on, you can work those out can't you?)
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> CHURCH OF THE REAL MAN/YORKSHIRE MAN - situated in the heart of the
>> West Leeds triangle of Burley, Headingley and Kirkstall, the Church
>> and its leader, Da Reverend John Lee, instructs devotees in the art
>> of Grolsch-swilling, currying, nesting, and opinionated
>> conversation, especially in the company of students who are not
>> tolerated within the Church. Chief doctrines include NO Rabid
>> Canines, no buying Sharp products, the sworn aim of the destruction
>> of all things Lancastrian and the moving of Parliament to Swaledale.
>> It's anti Southern-jessy&  Wearside-maggot philosophies easily
>> identify the brethren. Dress sense is casual with attitude, musical
>> preferences eclectic but no hippie shit, and a love of Geoffrey
>> Boycott is essential. A definite NO SCABS rule applies to membership,
>> regardless of all other criteria, although if you've ever shagged
>> Sophie Rayworth you're probably in! Birds are tolerated, but only
>> if they're fit, can cook curry or are related to DRB by marriage.
>> In short, the Brethren of justice and righteousness found in the
>> Church of the Real Man/Yorkshire Man are Gods children on Earth,
>> reside in the Land of the Gods and will surely one day inherit the
>> Earth (and will then proceed to wipe Lancashire off it!).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> CHINAMAN - Young Lee Sharpe
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> DENIS - I ended up with Denis cos after the headshave at Euronet
>> 96, I ended uplooking like Denis Irwin. Fortunately my hair's grown
>> back a bit now. Still, it's better than being accused of looking
>> like 'Sutcliffe' a few years ago (not funny I know, but that's
>> southern 'humour' for you).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> dOLEITE - (see SQUIGGLE).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> DRB - Custodian of the reserve report and choirmaster of the Choir
>> Of Unholy Angels, who normally give concerts on the Football Special
>> of a match day.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> DUNDERHEAD - My list name is not a nickname but in fact my surname.
>> This is itself an Anglicisation of our previous, family name of
>> Dumbkopf. My great-grandfather, like many first-generation German
>> immigrants during the Great War, thought it prudent to change the
>> family name of Pimmelkopf to Windsor, but those damned Saxe-Cobourgs
>> had beaten him to it. He chose instead the more familiar surname of
>> Dumbkopf, being true to his Hanoverian roots while adopting a name
>> commonly understood in Great Britain.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> FAKE TAN - If it is of any interest, the reason for my moniker
>> Fake-Tan is that after my first Adelphi trip before The Witness'
>> hat-trick against Ipswich, Da Rev sent this message to the List:
>> "Apologies to those of you in't Adelphi last night, I was completely
>> knackered and needed a few stiff drinks to get me moving again so
>> wasn't my usual whingeing lively self. Good to put a few more faces
>> to names, Dave (RB) and Charlie (Is it really that sunny up in Durham
>> or was that fake-tan, I think we should be told!!)." To which my
>> reply was: "Well the secret is out, thanks to a great night with the
>> Listers in the Adelphi; cheers for making me so welcome. Seeing The
>> Witness get a first-half hat-trick right in front of us in the Kop
>> was something special. Now the Fake-Tan: Take Your Pick, all or none
>> of the following could be responsible:
>> 
>> 1. It is fake-tan and I have bought Clayton Blackmore's used Sun-Bed;
>> 2. It is sunny in Durham, and I do a bit of running;
>> 3. It is hereditary, my father looks like a ruddy-faced farmer (he's a
>> Blade);
>> 4. I drink far too much malt."
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> GBSS - Green and Blue Striped Shirt (as worn at away matches and in
>> Mr Goodair's bedroom) see also YBSS.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> HAM SANDWICH - OK, this was the label given to me by the rabid
>> Reverend Mr John Lee after the TSB-Lard match. At 2pm he wanted to go
>> for a curry -- I couldn't stomach it at that time and besides,
>> no-where would've been open, so instead we all headed down to Granary
>> Wharf? where I tucked into a tasty ham sandwich, baked spud and a
>> gingerbread man. The Rev then branded me with that name and the rest
>> is history. Trouble is that following subsequent Lard matches, the
>> Rev has not disproved the rumour that he's a korma eating nancy.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> IMO/IMHO - More standard computer nerd jargon for "in my opinion/in
>> my humble opinion. Supposedly saves nanoseconds at the listserver.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> JABBA - see THE PLASTIC PENGUIN
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> JACK THE TWAT DOORMAN - head of security at h'Elland Road, has a
>> peculiarly 'posh' Yorkshire accent when interviewed on telly,
>> entailing h'appearance of h's h'all h'over the place. Wears naff
>> grey uniform and chauffeurs peaked hat. Complete jobsworth a la
>> Blakey in On The Buses. Favourite sayings "YOU CAN'T PARK THERE"&
>> "YOU CAN'T GO DOWN THERE -- EVEN PLAYERS CAN'T GO DOWN THERE!". In
>> short, a complete f***ing embarrassment! His appearance on Match of
>> the Day last season set a new low in the public relations history of
>> Leeds United.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> JUDAS - Title applied to former heroes who willingly transfer to a
>> new club, particularly after proclaiming undying love for the Gods
>> and their fans. Current holder is a Mr. G. McAllister currently
>> plying his trade for some obscure team in the West Midlands. (See also
>> TPFKAM)
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> KLKOT - Kev Lewis King of Tonga. I think it started in the Rugby
>> Club I play for when we were touring. Someone reckoned that I was
>> spread out in this easy chair, looking like the King of Tonga. I
>> perpetuated it to some extent, by blacking-up for a game once, and
>> finding various artefacts of South Sea Island origin. I have been
>> sent various photos and newspaper articles on the gentleman or
>> impostor whichever way you look at it. I believe MLPOT, my son, first
>> brought this to the attention of the list, at a pre-match list meet
>> in the Adolphi, it was well received and the moniker took.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> LAND OF THE GODS - LOTG our hallowed county, the broad acres that
>> are Yorkshire.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> LARDS - The most excellent Leeds list footie team composed of,
>> eerm, anyone who can turn out.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> LARDETTES - anyone turning out to support the LARDS.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> LARNDAN - The capital city of the south of England
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> [EMAIL PROTECTED] - the new home of the list, but then you
>> wouldn't be reading this if you didn't already know that. see below.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> [EMAIL PROTECTED] - the original home of the list, before
>> Gav did a Macca for more brass in some technical college somewhere. see
>> above.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> LOTSA - Land Of The Sad Alcoholic. Scotland where about two of us live.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> M-PEOPLE - ask Ade Thompson (Ham Sandwich) and heavy metal guru
>> Maggie Barber.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> MAD DOG - Our dearly beloved manager. see also TMFKAW.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> MAGGIE BARBER - Erstwhile Lards manager, named after the WFKATPM,
>> Maggie Thatcher. He is noted as having once said "That's Margaret to
>> you." when addressing the Rev in the Adolphi.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> MNES - Magnificent New East Stand. Complete with medicated toilet paper.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> MOALM - Mother of All List Meets (The List meet the night before
>> the Fizzy Pop Cup Final, plus the pre- and post meets on the day).
>> Also leads to various offshoots. (I'm sure you can all work Fizzy Pop
>> Cup out:-)
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> MUCKSHIFTER - As a young roofer in Wakey, I was bollocked by the
>> clerk of works on a building site in Crigglestone for throwing a load
>> of old slates in to a freshly dug trench. The two blokes (1 Irish, 1
>> Polish) who had dug the trench, told the foreman where to stick his
>> shovel when asked to clear up my mess. I was then ordered by a very
>> irate foreman to "get cracking", and had to climb in the trench to
>> remove all the knackered slates. The Polish bloke, while laughing at
>> my feeble attempts to clear 6ft with a spadeful of rubbish, called me
>> a "useless muckshifter", which is what builders call a JCB (or they
>> used to). The name stuck for a while. Anyway, nowadays I work for a
>> publisher, and while looking through a list of journals I was amazed
>> to spot one called "Muckshifter", which is about mechanical diggers,
>> not about skinny 16-year-old Wakey lads. The memories came flooding
>> back, I can still smell the asbestos now! I don't really know why I
>> decided to use it as a pseudonym.......perhaps there is something
>> wrong with me? Mam, mam, can I come out of this cupboard now .........!
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> OCCUPIED YORKSHIRE - Anywhere outside of Yorkshire.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> OCTOPUSSY - Mr Carlton Palmer (see most video footage of his performances).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> POPE PAUL - Paul MacGowan, apologist for the MAD DOG and leader of
>> the acolytes, Mrs Firm and Silent Bob, lost somewhere west of the
>> Dingle Peninsula.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> RUSTBELT CITY - Sheffield (allegedly playing football in LOTG).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> SCUM - Manchester United(and thus Scummers, Scumchester etc..).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> SOTG - Stadium Of The Gods. Our superb ground, Elland Road.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> SQUIGGLE - Just as Doctor Who had to have a new face every few
>> years, I have to have a new name every few months. Firstly, there was
>> "The Voice of Football". This was apt at the time, because by thunder
>> did I know my stuff. Then, when football died as we knew and loved
>> it (circa the building of the Old Trafford megastore) I
>> metamorphosised into<~O (formerly the gobshite known as Voice).
>> This was partly in protest at the bastardisation of our beautiful
>> game, and partly so the Internet Hotspurs didn't kick the shit outof
>> me. Then it was Squiggle -- this was because my keyboard lost it's
>> "~" sign. (I think it was set up incorrectly). Along the way there's
>> been Chantelle and others. Now, I'm plain old dOLEITE. Not very
>> imaginitive, not very amusing. Just apt. (sniff! sniff!).<~O (who's
>> just found ASCII code 126)
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> STEVIE GRANDDAD - I'm afraid it's not very interesting but the
>> Granddad comes from my band Granddads Don't Indicate. We all get
>> called the Granddads cos the whole thing is such a gob full, hence
>> Stevie Granddad, (my mother in law insists on calling me it??). Nowt
>> to do with Leeds, nowt to do with sprogs, sorry.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> TAPP - see THE PLASTIC PENGUIN.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE ARSE - Arsenal FC (world's most boring football team).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE BOY WETH - Rather dull origin of "The Boy Weth". Half derived
>> from an office I worked in adapting "The Boy Lineker" all those years
>> ago for all of us. Thus The Boy Lawrenson, The Boy Gaymer etc. Told
>> you it was dull. When I enrolled on E World I had no idea that a name
>> was required, panicked and put that in. Mind you, it has inspired me
>> to end messages again with The Boy Weth.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE DON - Mr Donald Revie (a management God - well to 99.99% of us).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE GODS - Our glorious team.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE LISTOWNER - Gav Burnage who "looks after" his foundling, The
>> List. He gets called other things too: Eric, Erique, Canto, Ooh Aah
>> French Wanker (a few hundred arsenal fans did the latter one), Fuck
>> Off Cantona (a few hundred Leeds fans did that one).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE MESSIAH - Mr Anthony Yeboah (an imported German nickname).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE PLONKER - Rodney Wallace who seems to obey the Law of Gravity
>> at every opportunity and make intimate contact with the ground
>> anytime he has the ball and often without it.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE QUIET MAN - Roger Michelle Goodair, part time Bradford Bulls
>> supporter and hammer of the ladies in sensible shoes.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE RHINESTONE COWBOY - The Rhinestone Cowboy, if he exists, can be
>> found in crappy boozers like The Nags Head, Market Tavern and the
>> Regent selling dodgy copies of Pocohontas or fake Tag Heuers -- when
>> he's not on holiday in places like Italy allegedly checking out some
>> player who has absolutely no intention of coming to Leeds! Has
>> sponsorship from Gerry and Sylvia Anderson for his Joe 90 style
>> glasses, which must emit some form of stupidity ray on past performance.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE WITNESS - see MESSIAH above.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE YOUNG GODS - Yorkshire County Cricket Club.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THEATRE OF WET DREAMS - An ironic reference to Old Trafford.
>> 
>> "THERE'LL BE WEEPING IN THE STREETS OF BOURNEMOUTH TONIGHT" - A
>> non-ironic reference to a SCUM defeat.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> TMFKAW - The Manager Formerly Known As Wilko. Our illustrious
>> Manager, Mr Howard Wilkinson (see also MAD DOG).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> TPFKAM - The Player (or is it penaltytaker?) Formerly Known As
>> Macca. A one time captain of our glorious team, now starring in a new
>> show at Highfield Road -- along with a number of other people who are
>> just pawns in the game of life that is Premiership Footie. (see also JUDAS).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> THE PLASTIC PENGUIN - This came from two separate occasions: in
>> Dublin for the pre-season game in 1995, I turned up at the pub in a
>> white shirt&  dark trousers (heading to a club afterwards) -- Gav said
>> I looked like something out of Riverdance so I gave a quick hop&  jig
>> - only to be told that that was more like a penguin. Hence Penguin.
>> Then at the Spurs away game a month or so later, I thought I'd lost
>> my match ticket. I found it buried in the depths of my wallet -- I
>> found it after I'd removed my copious collection of credit cards (and
>> to my shame, a Sainsbury's Spend'n'Save card :-). Hence Plastic
>> Penguin. Shortly afterwards, it turned out that there was a big drugs
>> boss in Dublin who had arranged several nasty accidents -- he was
>> called The Penguin, so I became the Plastic Puffin for my own safety.
>> Joined in the mad list rush to abbreviation as TAPP (The Abbreviated
>> Plastic Puffin) before reverting to my long-standing nickname of
>> Jabba when I finally grew out of it all.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> TSB - The Square Ball. Rip off Gods fanzine.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> WIACW - Wilko Is A Complete Wanker. A commentary on our manager's
>> ability (or lack of it) as Mr Goodair signed off for quite a while.
>> Mr Goodair has Football Managerial pretensions himself (see also LARDS)
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> VATMAN - Mr Robin Launders, our recently appointed, ex scum
>> employee, Chief Executive and man in charge of the Bendix. (Vatman
>> and Robin geddit?).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> VINNY - (as in 'the Jones Boy') When I started my present job,
>> Vinny Jones was still terrorising Div 2 opposition with a dodgy
>> wedge(ish) haircut! I decided to have a similar style and when the
>> blokes here found out I supported Leeds someone mentioned Vinny
>> Jones. A couple of weeks later they asked me to play in an inter
>> company tournament and I was put at Left back. I think we were one-nil
>> up at half time but only just holding on, as they had a big bloke
>> (compared to me) of about 16 stone in the centre of midfield who was
>> running the show. Our manager (my boss) decided to move me into the
>> centre at half-time and just after the restart there was a 50-50 ball
>> between us. We both steamed in and I don't know where the ball went
>> but I got up and he didn't. He limped off a few moments later as my
>> colleagues on the sidelines started chanting VINNY VINNY! We went on
>> to win 3-0 and a new nickname was born.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> WATC-COE - We Are The Champions - Champions of Europe.
>> To be sung loudly and shirtless throughout half time at away games,
>> to remind us of our true standing (no matter how crap we happen to be
>> playing).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> YBSS - Yellow and blue striped shirt (see also GBSS).
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Compiled by Betty
>> August 28th 1996
>> 
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> 
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