> > (this is unusually lengthy for email traffic, but in terms of word count is > not actually too bad, so apologies for blowing any diodes) > > (most of the words as they appeared in the original and in the correct order) > > (with all necessary apologies) > > > ------- > > > Waiting for Cellino: A tragicomedy in two acts > > > Characters: > > > McDermott > > McCormack > > toryboy > > > A muddy playing field, a goalpost, evening > > > McD – nothing to be done > > McC – so there you are again > > McD – am I > > McC – I’m glad to see you back, I thought you were gone forever > > McD – Me too > > McC - together again at last. We have to celebrate. > > McD – not now, not now > > McC – when I think of it…but for me…where would you be? > > McD – and what of it? It’s too much for one man. On the other hand what’s the > good of losing heart now, that’s what I say. > > McC – we should have thought of that a million years ago, in the nineties > > > Silence > > > McC – help me off with this bloody thing > > McD – what are you doing? > > McC – taking off my boot > > McD – boots must be taken off every day, I’m tired of telling you that. Why > don’t you listen to me? > > McC – help me > > McD – it hurts? > > McC – Hurts! He wants to know if it hurts! > > McD – no one ever suffers but you…There’s a man all over for you, blaming on > his boots the fault of his feet. > > McC – this is getting alarming > > McD - Suppose we repented > > McC – repented what? > > McD – we wouldn’t have to go into details > > McC – one daren’t even laugh any more…nothing to be done > > > Silence > > > McD – CoCo? > > McC – what is it? > > McD – do you ever read the Bible? The two thieves, crucified at the same time > as our savior… > > McC – our what? > > McD – Our Saviour. Two thieves, one is supposed to have been saved the > other…(he searches for the contrary of saved)…damned > > McC – saved from what? > > McD – hell…this is not boring you I hope…two don’t mention the thieves and > the third says both abused him… > > McC – who? > > McD – what? > > McC – what is this all about? Abused who? > > McD – The Saviour. > > McC – why? > > McD – because he wouldn’t save them. > > McC – from hell? > > McD – imbecile. From administration. > > McC – I thought you said hell. > > McD – from administration, from administration > > McC – what of it? who believes him? > > McD – everybody. It’s the only version they know. > > McC – People are bloody ignorant apes. > > > Silence > > > McD – charming spot…inspiring prospects…let’s go > > McC – we can’t > > McD – why not? > > McC – We’re waiting for Cellino > > McD - You’re sure it was here? > > McC – he said by the goalpost…are you insinuating that we’ve come to the > wrong place? > > McD – he should be here > > McC – He didn’t say he’d come for sure. > > McD – and if he doesn’t come? > > McC – we’ll come back tomorrow > > McD – and then the day after tomorrow > > McC – Possibly > > McD – and so on…until he comes > > McC – You’re merciless > > McD – we came here yesterday > > McC – you recognize the place? > > McD – I didn’t say that. That makes no difference > > McC - …all the same…that goalpost > > McD – you’re sure it was this evening? > > McC – he said Saturday…I think. > > McD - …but what Saturday? And is it Saturday? > > McC – what’ll we do? > > McD – if he came yesterday and we weren’t here, you may be sure he won’t come > again today > > McC – but you say we were here yesterday > > McD – I may be mistaken > > > Silence > > > McC – what do we do now? > > McD – wait > > McC – yes, but while waiting > > McD – what about hanging ourselves? Let’s hang ourselves immediately! > > McC – from the crossbar? I wouldn’t trust it. > > McD – we can always try > > McC – go ahead > > McD – after you > > McC – no no, you first > > (pause) > > McD – Don’t let’s do anything. It’s safer. > > McC – let’s wait and see what he says. > > McD – who? > > McC – Cellino > > McD – Good idea. > > McC – I’m curious to hear what he has to offer. > > McD – what exactly did we ask him for? > > McC – oh…nothing very definite > > McD – and what did he reply? > > McC – that he’d see > > McD – That he couldn’t promise anything > > McC – that he’d have to think it over…consult his family…his agents…his > correspondents…his bank account > > McD – before taking a decision > > (pause) > > McC – are we tied? > > McD - tied? How do you mean tied? > > McC – to your man > > McD – To Cellino? Tied to Cellino? What an idea. No question of it…for the > moment. > > > Silence > > > toryboy (off) – mister > > > both look towards the voice > > > McC – what is it? > > toryboy – Mr Cellino… > > McD – you have a message from Mr Cellino? > > toryboy – yes, sir > > McD - speak > > toryboy – Mr Cellino told me to tell you he won’t come this evening but > surely tomorrow > > (pause) > > McC - is that all? > > toryboy – yes, sir > > McD – you work for Mr Cellino? > > toryboy – yes, sir > > McD – is he good to you? He doesn’t beat you? > > toryboy – no, sir, not me > > McD – does he feed you well? You’re not unhappy? > > toryboy – I don’t know sir > > McD – you don’t know if you’re unhappy or not? > > toryboy – no sir. What am I to say to Mr Cellino, sir? > > McD – tell him you saw us. > > > toryboy exits running > > > McC – we’ve nothing more to do here > > McD – ah CoCo, don’t go on like that. Tomorrow everything will be better. > > McC – How do you make that out? > > McD – he said Mr Cellino was sure to come tomorrow. > > McC (looking at the crossbar) – remind me to bring a bit of rope tomorrow > > > Silence > > > McD – well shall we go? > > McC – yes, let’s go. > > > They do not move > > > > Act II > > > next day, same time, same place > > > > McD – you again! > > McC – don’t touch me! > > McD – do you want me to go away again? > > McC – what a day > > McD – who beat you? You don’t know how to defend yourself. I wouldn’t have > let them beat you. > > McC – you couldn’t have stopped them > > McD – why not? > > McC – there were ten of them. > > McD – why did they beat you? > > McC – I don’t know. I wasn’t doing anything. > > McD – you must be happy, to be back with me again. > > McC – what am I to say? > > McD – say, I am happy. > > McC – I am happy > > McD – so am I > > McC – we are happy. What do we do now, now that we are happy? > > McD – wait for Cellino. Things have changed since yesterday. > > McC – and if he doesn’t come? > > (pause) > > McC – let’s go > > McD – we can’t. > > McC – why not? > > McD – we’re waiting for Cellino > > McC – Ah (pause. Despairing) What’ll we do, what’ll we do? > > McD – there’s nothing we can do. > > McC – but I can’t go on like this. > > McC – this is becoming really insignificant. > > (pause) > > McC – we don’t manage too badly eh, Didi, between the two of us? We always > find something to give us the impression we exist. > > McD – yes yes, we’re magicians. > > (pause) > > McC – how time flies when one has fun! > > > Silence > > > McC – what do we do now? > > McD – while waiting? > > McC – while waiting > > McD – we could do our exercises > > McC – our movements > > McD – our elevations > > McC – our relaxations > > McD – to warm us up > > McC – to calm us down > > McD – off we go > > > CoCo hops from one foot to the other…Didi imitates him > > > McC – that’s enough. I’m tired. > > McD – we’re not in form. Let’s just do the tree for the balance. > > > Silence…then a noise > > > McD – who is it? > > McC – is it Cellino? > > McD – at last! > > McC – we were beginning to weaken… > > McD – we are no longer alone, waiting for the night, waiting for > Cellino…waiting. All evening we have struggled unassisted. Now it is over. > It’s already tomorrow. > > McC – time flows again already. The sun will set, the moon will rise and we > away…from here. > > McD – What are we doing here, that is the question. And we are blessed in > this that we happen to know the answer… > > McC – …yes, in all this confusion one thing alone is clear, we are waiting > for Cellino to come > > McD – come let’s get to work! In an instant all will vanish and we’ll be > alone once more, in the midst of nothingness… > > > Enter toryboy > > > > toryboy – mister… > > McD – you have a message from Mr Cellino? > > toryboy – yes, sir > > McD – he won’t come this evening. > > toryboy – no, sir. > > McD – but he’ll come tomorrow > > toryboy – yes, sir > > McD – without fail > > toryboy – yes, sir > > McC – what does he do, Mr Cellino? > > toryboy – he does nothing, sir > > > toryboy exits > > > > McC – let’s go far away from here > > McD – we can’t. We have to come back tomorrow, to wait for Cellino. > > McC – and if we dropped him? > > McD – he’d punish us… > > McC – why don’t we hang ourselves? > > McD – with what? > > McC – you haven’t a bit of rope? > > McD – no > > McC – then we can’t…wait there’s my belt > > McD – it’s too short > > McC – you could hang on to my legs > > McD – and who’d hang on to mine? > > McC – true > > (pause) > > McC – I can’t go on like this > > McD – that’s what you think > > McC – if we parted…that might be better for us… > > McD – we could hang ourselves tomorrow…unless Cellino comes > > McC – and if he comes? > > McD – we’ll be saved > > (pause) > > McC – well? Shall we go? > > McD – yes, let’s go > > > They do not move > > CURTAIN FALLS AT ELLAND ROAD >
_______________________________________________ Leedslist mailing list Info and options: http://mailman.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist To unsubscribe, email [email protected] John 'Grampa' Sykes Rest In Peace old lad 28th Oct 1938 - 12 Nov 2013 MARCHING ON TOGETHER
