been looking through my emails for something and came across a list one from
back in 2001 from Stotty, thought I'd post it;

 

stotty <[email protected]> wrote: >  Leeds

2 v Saints 0

> (Kewell 10,

>  Keane 72)

> 

> After the euphoric highs of Wednesday night it was always going to be 

> a fall back down to earth today. It was just a matter of how big the 

> bump would be.

> 

> In the end things were pretty comfortable but at 1-0 with less than 25 

> minutes remaining  Matteo dithered and left a through ball for Martyn, 

> who was handcuffed to his post. Petrescu appeared with the ball from 

> this confused mess, and shot what was a certain equaliser.... but 

> Martyn, with lightening reflexes pushed the ball away with his free 

> hand. Phew!

> 

> Matteo, who had been a rock, suddenly looked like Bez on his pay day.

> Southampton saw a chink of light.

> 

> Big Dom took a final, defiant toke on his rollie and Leeds prepared to 

> baton down the hatches for the expected, and highly belated, Saints 

> onslaught. Here we go - we thought.

> 

> It didn't matter though as straight away the lively, but seemingly 

> luckless Keane, latched onto a long looping ball and lobbed the 

> onlooking Jones. It was Saints' turn for their defence to copy Bez 

> Matteo's "Freaky Dancing"

> 

> 2-0.

> 

> There was still time for both Keane and Wilcox to go close and 

> Southampton had the ball in the net but it was ruled out for offside

> (wrongly)

> 

> It had started wonderfully well for Leeds, they began where they'd 

> left off against Deportivo La Weakestlinkio. Batty was felled in the 

> box in the opening minutes but fat fcker Jeff "What's a diet ?" 

> Winters & his myopic assistant Schnorbitz deemed that Batty had dived. 

> How ridiculous.

> 

> Moments later the same linesman annoyed the crowd further with another 

> bizarre decision. In the aftermath the ball was returned from the Kop 

> straight onto the back of the unsuspecting official's crust. We pissed 

> ourselves laughing. He was unsure whether or not to take a dive and 

> milk it.  The rattle of loose change in the Kop's pockets persuaded 

> him not to.

> 

> Brian Kidd jumped up and down like a jack-in-a-box.

> Every ball that went

> into touch he legged after it like an over eager ball boy. He strikes 

> me as an excellent man to have around.

> 

> Leeds swarmed all over Southampton. Bowyer's and Keane's persistence 

> on the right allowed the ball to fall to Kewell and his

> 20 yard drive

> skidded past the bemused Jones. Harry's first goal of the season but a 

> massively important one nonetheless.

> 

> For another 20 mins Leeds knocked it about and Southampton couldn't 

> even see the shadows they were supposed to be chasing.

> 

> Southampton are a big, rag bag of a team and they slowly nudged their 

> way back into the game. Fortunately in Kevin Davies they possess the 

> biggest pile of dog log imaginable. He couldn't hit the sea from a 

> boat, and most of the visitor's attacks petered out harmlessly.

> 

> Before the break Harry had a wonderful chance to double his season 

> tally. Keane deliciously sprung the offiside trap for the Aussie 

> prodigy, but by the time Harry had stopped fannying about doing his 

> makeup, the whole of the defence had got back and constructed a brick 

> wall infront of the goal. A corner was pitiful reward for a wonderful 

> build up.

> 

> Leeds attacked the South Stand 2nd half but despite being the better 

> side didn't reach the dizzy heights of Wednesday night. Hardly 

> surprising.

> 

> Kewell should have had a penalty after Dodd hand-balled but Big Jeff 

> Winter's was too busy eyeing up Viduka's pastie.

> 

> Leeds continued to play some neat football and at times over 

> elaborated but the 2nd goal to kill the game off wasn't forthcoming.

> 

> Bakke struggled, Kewell ran out of gas, and Viduka wilted in the West 

> Yorkshire heat. Southampton had their unlikely chance to snatch 

> something from the game but we held on to take 3 valuable points to 

> end an unforgettable week.

> 

> Sorry Mr.Winters but not even your cheating fat bloated yellow belly 

> was going to spoil it for us.

> 

> Jeff Winters - you are like a reeking fart - loved by nobody, except 

> yourself.

> 

> Scores

> --------

> Martyn 7 Made 1 world class save to keep it to 1-0 otherwise nack all 

> to do.

> 

> Mills 8 Strong defence, always willing if not always able in attack.

> 

> Harte 6 Saints took 75mins to cotton on that Harte is indeed a snail.

> Set up Keane for the winner with his long punt.

> 

> BEZ(Matteo) 7 Like a dog poo - mainly solid but likely to snap if 

> pressure is applied.

> 

> Rio 7 Good in the air, passing was shocking at times.

> 

> Bowyer 8 Ran&Ran&Ran-just like his court case.

> 

> Batty 8 Did the job of 2 men. Superb

> 

> Bakke 5 Plop.

> 

> Kewell 7 Scored a cracker but missed a bagful.

> 

> Keane 7.5 Sealed the points, worked very hard.

> 

> Viduka 6 Started as if his pie's life depended on it but ran out of 

> steam(ed puddings) after the break , needed a rest.

> 

> Subs/

> Wilcox 6 Didn't see that much of the ball but did OK.

> 

> Not used:

> Ollie(should have been used in the last third when we had tired.)

> 

> Smiffy (Is the bench too small for Viduka's arse?

> 

> Robbo,Kelly

> 

> Conditions:- pissed it down all day.

> 

> Ref:- Fat and crap. 

> 

> --

> stotty

> 

> http://www.astott.demon.co.uk

> 

> (LUFC match reports, cartoons, and Flash movies)

> 

 

 

 

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John 'Grampa' Sykes
Rest In Peace old lad
28th Oct 1938 - 12 Nov 2013
MARCHING ON TOGETHER

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