As Betty scours the list archives he reminded me of 2 emails in positions no 1 & 2 in my Inbox - both from Ralph in NZ, and his often humorous posts - this is from 2011 - the other is 2004 but it appears to be playing up!
Begin forwarded message: > From: [email protected] > Date: 22 August 2011 at 06:43:12 CEST > To: [email protected] > Subject: [LU] Non LUFC: Joke de jour (the old ones are still mildly amusing > > Dear Tech Support, > > Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct > slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and > jewellery applications, which had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. > > In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as > Romance and Personal Attention, and then installed undesirable programs > such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer > runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running > Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail. > > What can I do? > > Signed, Desperate > > .......................................................................... > ....................... > > > Dear Desperate, > > First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband > is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You > Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears. > > Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as > designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery > and Flowers. But remember - overuse of the above application can cause > Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very > bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. > > Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law (it runs a virus in the > background that will eventually seize control of all your system > resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These > are unsupported applications and will crash Husband. > > In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and > cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better > running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software > to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie. > > Good Luck, Tech Support > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------ > This message was sent using InSPire Net Webmail. > http://www.inspire.net.nz > > > _______________________________________________ > Leedslist mailing list > Info and options: > http://mailman-new.greennet.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist > To unsubscribe, email [email protected] > > MARCHING ON TOGETHER (There's it) _______________________________________________ Leedslist mailing list Info and options: https://mailman.gn.apc.org/mailman/listinfo/leedslist To unsubscribe, email [email protected] Find us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/leedslist/ Dave Dowden, a legend, a Totty Twin, a pie man! R.I.P.
