I don't have character names, so I'm using the names of the actors I have chosen.
Main character is played by Peewee Herman. Peewee's friend is played by Woody Harrelson. The store clerk is Steven Segal. The store clerk's fiance is Nicole Kidman. Nicole's half brother is Will Smith. The witness is Rosanne Barr. The cop/detective is Tom Cruise. Years before, Woody tried to steal cigarettes from Steven Segal's store, when Woody was 12 years old. Steven kicked his ass and Woody never returned. Then one day Woody and Peewee got drunk and decided to teach that guy a leason. They took Woody's mother's shotgun and decided to rob Steven Segal's store. Steven didn't know Peewee, so Peewee went in ahead to stake out the store. Peewee filled his shopping basket with various items, and waited for the store to clear to signal Woody. Steven saw the signal, but didn't catch on soon enough. When the time came Woody was so pumped that he shot Steven Segal with the shotgun, and got sprayed with Steven's blood. Steven returned fire with a handgun under the counter. Woody dropped the shotgun. Rosanne Bar witnessed Peewee enter the store moments ago, and ducked for cover behind a car when shots fired. Rosanna did not see Woody hobble away to his car, still running, and slowly drive away. Peewee stayed in the store, in panic. When police arrived Rosanne identified Peewee as the shooter. Woody and Peewee were wearing the same gloves. 24 hours later Woody was found dead from his wounds in another state, and DNA evidence of Steven's blood cleared Peewee of the crime. Steven Segal fell into a coma. Days later Nicole Kidman comes to see Peewee, apologizing for what she said about him to the media while he was being held by the police. She felt that we were the only surviving victims of the crime, and they fell asleep in each others arms on the sofa. In time they became engaged, and Peewee became a candidate for governor using his new fame. One day Steven recovered from his coma, and saw Peewee and Nicole on TV announcing their engagement. Steven paniced, and escaped the hospital to his father's old cabin where he would live off the land and recover from his coma. In time he began to retrain himself in killjutsu and decided to confide in his old friend, Will Smith, Nicole's half brother. He told Will not to spill the secret, but Will began giving Peewee the evil eye. Steven finds Peewee, kicks his ass at the wedding, and Nicole remained a virgin. The moral of the story is to not base the whole case on DNA evidence. Music by Portishhead. robert
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