>From ~~Suz~~

"Protect yourself:  Shoot first, and ask questions later" ...

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NASA NO LONGER REMEMBERS WHY IT LAUNCHED SPACE PROBE
Purpose of Decade-old Space Mission Eludes Scientists
http://www.borowitzreport.com

NASA sent shockwaves through the scientific community today by 
acknowledging that it could no longer remember why it launched a space 
probe over a decade ago.

At the Johnson Space Center, spokesperson Harrison Froling said that 
NASA scientists were "working overtime" to try to remember why the 
space agency launched the Explorer 17b on May 17, 1995.

"We are confident that the Explorer 17b will expand our understanding 
of the solar system and the universe," Mr. Froling said. "We're just 
not sure how."

Red-faced NASA officials said the file containing the Explorer 17b's 
mission statement may have been mislaid during an office move several 
years ago, leading to the space agency's present confusion about the 
space probe's reason for being.

On Capitol Hill, congressional leaders demanded a fuller explanation of 
how NASA could have launched a multibillion-dollar space probe and not 
remember why they did it.

"According to the General Accounting Office, the Explorer 17b cost 
taxpayers over eight billion dollars," said House Majority Leader Tom 
DeLay (R-Texas). "With that kind of money, we could invade Syria."

At NASA, Mr. Froling said that the space agency was considering 
launching a new space probe, the Explorer 17c, that would dock with the 
Explorer 17b and determine what its mission was supposed to be.

"Our only hope is that by the time the Explorer 17c gets up there we 
will still remember why we launched it," he said.

Elsewhere, California stopped issuing I.D. cards for medical marijuana 
patients, claiming that patients would not stop giggling long enough to 
have their pictures taken.


Freedom exists only on the frontier

It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are 
wrong. -Voltaire [François Marie Arouet] (1694-1778) 

An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his
fellow citizens." -- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and
more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious
day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last
and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

...H. L.  Mencken (1880 - 1956)

 
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