Good Morning! Your daily laugh as requested sent to you with the intention of brightening up your day! Why not give someone else a laugh. Forward this e.mail to everyone you know. IMPORTANT NOTE It is possible that you will have received your daily laugh from another source or will have been added to our mailing list at the request of a friend or colleague. We realise that some may not appreciate being added to our mailing list without prior consent. With this in mind we are now asking anybody that wishes to be added to the mailing list to subscribe direct. If you have already subscribed to our mailing list then please disregard this message and enjoy the jokes. However, If you wish to subscribe then please send a blank e.mail to one of the below addresses that best describes where you are from. [EMAIL PROTECTED] [EMAIL PROTECTED] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Those that do nothing will automatically be removed from the list after today. I thank you all for your anticipated co-operation. Now for today's jokes!!!!!!!! ______________________________________ A well dressed guy went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. The guy leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring "Well, it looks like plastic." Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, "But it feels like rubber." Curious, the guy asked, "What do you have there?" The drunk replied, "Damned if I know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber." The guy said, "Let me take a look." So the drunk handed it over. The guy rolled it between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely. "Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it anyway?" The drunk replied, "Out of my nose." _______________________________________ Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold a real Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope...not these days...I'm only giving out 1 wish because of inflation. So...what'll be?" Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other." The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, man! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish." Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. They think she's a real bitch and ugly as sin. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want." The Genie thought for a minute and said, "Hhhmmm. Let me see that map again." ____________________________________ The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage. He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on." The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers." He replies, "And don't forget that, I will always wear the pants in the family!" The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!" He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!" "And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude." ____________________________________ Have a nice day!!!
