Subject:  Girlfriend 2.0

 I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend and having some
problems.  I've been running the same version of Drinking Buddies 1.0 all
along as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always
conflicted with it.  I hear the Drinking Buddies won't crash if you run
Girlfriend in background mode with the  sound switched off.  But I'm
embarrassed to say that I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I
just run them separately, and it works Ok.

 Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Hobby program,
often trying to abort my Hobby program with some sort of timing
incompatibility.  I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I
thought I might see better performance with Girlfriend 2.0.

 After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has
had experience with Girlfriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn't have
enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0 and that eventually it would require a
Token Ring to run properly.  He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it
uninstalled itself.

 Shortly after that, I installed Girlfriend 3.0 beta.  All the bugs were
supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus.  I
had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.

 I very cautiously upgraded to Girlfriend 4.0.  This time I used a
SCSI probe first and also installed virus protection. It worked OK for a
while until I discovered Girlfriend 1.0 was still in my system!  I tried to
run Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still installed, but Girlfriend
4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about that automatically senses the
presence of previous version of Girlfriend and communicates with it in
someway, which results in the immediate removal of both versions!

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems.
Like all versions of
Girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I can't understand,
much less re-program.

 Frankly, I think that there is too much attention paid to the look and feel
and not enough to the desired functionality.  Also, to get the best
connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold plated
contacts.  And I've never liked how Girlfriend is totally 'object-oriented'.

 A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of Girlfriend to
GirlfriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of
Girlfriend.  He discovered that GirlfriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if
you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, you have
to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a 'huge resource hog'.  It has
taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else.

 One of the primary reasons that he upgrade to Wife 1.0 is that it came
bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0.  Well it turns out that the resource
allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus,
particularly with the new Plug and Play items he wanted to try.  On top of
that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well
warmed-up system before he can do anything.  And, although he did not ask
for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0 which has an automatic pop-up
feature that he can't turn off.

I told him to install Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard that if you
try to run it without first uninstalling Wife, that Wife will delete his
MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.  Then Mistress 1.0 won't
run anyway due to insufficient resources.

 Anybody out there able to offer technical advice...

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