Berlin. May 27. A multilateral cease-fire agreement for the purpose of
collecting the dead and wounded permits your correspondent to offer the
following report from the war zone.
Communications here on the eastern front are in a lamentable state.
Small barracks and other temporary bivouacs, although supposed to be
equipped with Internet connectivity, are unable to enter POP3 addresses
other than the default, while the telephone systems of the larger hotels
where officers are billeted, supposed to provide last resort long
distance dial-up, beep in a manner unrecognizable by laptop modems, the
cumulative effect of all of which is, in general, no Internet access.
This situation is not the least of the surprises that greeted your
correspondent upon disembarking in Deutschland. Surface mouvement via an
otherwise adequate if antiquated system of roads and tramways is greatly
hindered by what appear to be organized assemblies of the gentry for
strange ends. Skaters numbering in the hundreds if not thousands,
wearing fluorescent garments and sporting green and purple and red
hairdos, the sun glinting from nose and eyelid rings, blocked the
thoroughfare at the edge of our camp during our first improvised supper
in this strange land. We had been forewarned of such peculiar customs;
what we were not prepared for were the hordes of bicycles upon the
sidewalks that make any serious advance through the city all but
impossible.
The day and evening of May 25th were occupied entirely by
pourparlers between representatives of the RFI (Revolutionary Forces of
the Internet) and officers of the dictatorship, in separate small
negotiating units designated "constituencies" by the enemy. These talks
were largely unsuccessful, as they were no doubt intended to be,
primarily due to constant harrassment by mobile shock troops of the
reactionary secret society of kulaks known as CORE, whose business was
evidently to obstruct the proceedings.
Your correspondent participated in the talks of the "non-commercial
domain name holders" constituency, a baroque gathering of foes loosely
held together by the presence of Colonel Dyson, dispatched hastily to
the NCDNHC by the dictatorship's general staff for the purpose of
assuring that the CORE kulaks were not ejected forcibly from the
meeting. Let it be noted here that comrade Mueller speaking on behalf of
the ACM made a valiant effort at compromise, and if he failed it was
only due to the enemy's duplicity and perfidy.
The ICIIU, originally supposed to lead the constituency talks, was
forced into the back seat by the refusal of a number of those present,
including Colonel Dyson herself, to recognize its authority, this being
obviously a thinly-veiled defense against the ICIIU's threats of
invoking international law and its demands for the convening of a war
crimes tribunal to punish those profiting from the present hostilities.
The only achievement of the negotiations so far has been the
beginning of a return to civil society and order, in the form of a
hesitant DNSO, still unsure of itself yet hoping to be granted some
measure of authority for the reconstruction of the social fabric by the
dictatorship's High Command. A first meeting of the nascent DNSO without
survelliance by the police state was allowed to take place this
afternoon, and a second is hoped for in late August, if the dictatorship
will allow it.
Unwelcome surprises for the RFI came from an unexpected quarter: the
GAC. First, the delegate from Turcs and Caicos Islands (.TU) was denied
admission to the GAC conference on the grounds that the islands are a
former colony of Great Britain. Your correspondent expressed the opinion
in the GAC open meeting (actually a report by the sole Paul Twomey) that
two world wars had been fought and the United Nations created in order
to stop that sort of colonialism, but this was ignored. We were also
informed that the GAC has recommended that the WIPO recommendations
(lots of recommendations, just recommendations) be accepted forthwith by
the dictatorship, protestations of no due process by the DNSO
notwithstanding. As a final ignominy, the GAC has told the High Command
that ccTLDs may be removed from their present administrators "by
request" and for ambiguous reasons, thus opening the way for an
extension of the dictatorship's iron grip beyond the territory (gtLDs)
already conquered. No indication of the provenance of the "request" for
such actions was given. Your correspndent suggests that it could be the
GAC itself.
The dictatorship High Command remains in closed session all day
today. Their sole communique has been an edict regarding the
constituencies to the effect that six of them are recognized and may
choose Names Council members (despite Colonel Dyson's assurances to the
contrary only two weeks ago), whereas the formation of the
non-commercial constituency has been postponed indefinitely, thus
denying it the chance to participate in the first meeting of the NC,
underway as these lines are being written. Unable to give the NCDNHC to
CORE and its cover ISOC due to the timely intervention of the ICIIU and
ACM, the dictatorship has retaliated by refusing to recognize it at all,
no doubt until such time as the High Command can devise a new plan for
bringing the rebel NCDNHC into submission.
A High Command press conference has been announced for 8 A.M.
tomorrow, May 28th, at which time the dictatorship will make known the
orders to be carried out between now and the August negotiations in
Santiago. The RFI awaits these commands with trepidation, yet with an
unflagging spirit and a keen sense of its mission and the need for
continuing self-sacrifice in the cause of liberty.
Michael Sondow, reporting from the front.
