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>Date: Fri, 28 May 1999 05:37:25 +0900
>From: Robert Connelly <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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>Subject: Report From the Front
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>Berlin. May 27. A multilateral cease-fire agreement for the purpose of
>collecting the dead and wounded permits your correspondent to offer the
>following report from the war zone.
>    Communications here on the eastern front are in a lamentable state.
>Small barracks and other temporary bivouacs, although supposed to be
>equipped with Internet connectivity, are unable to enter POP3 addresses
>other than the default, while the telephone systems of the larger hotels
>where officers are billeted, supposed to provide last resort long
>distance dial-up, beep in a manner unrecognizable by laptop modems, the
>cumulative effect of all of which is, in general, no Internet access.
>    This situation is not the least of the surprises that greeted your
>correspondent upon disembarking in Deutschland. Surface mouvement via an
>otherwise adequate if antiquated system of roads and tramways is greatly
>hindered by what appear to be organized assemblies of the gentry for
>strange ends. Skaters numbering in the hundreds if not thousands,
>wearing fluorescent garments and sporting green and purple and red
>hairdos, the sun glinting from nose and eyelid rings, blocked the
>thoroughfare at the edge of our camp during our first improvised supper
>in this strange land. We had been forewarned of such peculiar customs;
>what we were not prepared for were the hordes of bicycles upon the
>sidewalks that make any serious advance through the city all but
>impossible.
>    The day and evening of May 25th were occupied entirely by
>pourparlers between representatives of the RFI (Revolutionary Forces of
>the Internet) and officers of the dictatorship, in separate small
>negotiating units designated "constituencies" by the enemy. These talks
>were largely unsuccessful, as they were no doubt intended to be,
>primarily due to constant harrassment by mobile shock troops of the
>reactionary secret society of kulaks known as CORE, whose business was
>evidently to obstruct the proceedings.
>    Your correspondent participated in the talks of the "non-commercial
>domain name holders" constituency, a baroque gathering of foes loosely
>held together by the presence of Colonel Dyson, dispatched hastily to
>the NCDNHC by the dictatorship's general staff for the purpose of
>assuring that the CORE kulaks were not ejected forcibly from the
>meeting. Let it be noted here that comrade Mueller speaking on behalf of
>the ACM made a valiant effort at compromise, and if he failed it was
>only due to the enemy's duplicity and perfidy.
>    The ICIIU, originally supposed to lead the constituency talks, was
>forced into the back seat by the refusal of a number of those present,
>including Colonel Dyson herself, to recognize its authority, this being
>obviously a thinly-veiled defense against the ICIIU's threats of
>invoking international law and its demands for the convening of a war
>crimes tribunal to punish those profiting from the present hostilities.
>    The only achievement of the negotiations so far has been the
>beginning of a return to civil society and order, in the form of a
>hesitant DNSO, still unsure of itself yet hoping to be granted some
>measure of authority for the reconstruction of the social fabric by the
>dictatorship's High Command. A first meeting of the nascent DNSO without
>survelliance by the police state was allowed to take place this
>afternoon, and a second is hoped for in late August, if the dictatorship
>will allow it.
>    Unwelcome surprises for the RFI came from an unexpected quarter: the
>GAC. First, the delegate from Turcs and Caicos Islands (.TU) was denied
>admission to the GAC conference on the grounds that the islands are a
>former colony of Great Britain. Your correspondent expressed the opinion
>in the GAC open meeting (actually a report by the sole Paul Twomey) that
>two world wars had been fought and the United Nations created in order
>to stop that sort of colonialism, but this was ignored. We were also
>informed that the GAC has recommended that the WIPO recommendations
>(lots of recommendations, just recommendations) be accepted forthwith by
>the dictatorship, protestations of no due process by the DNSO
>notwithstanding. As a final ignominy, the GAC has told the High Command
>that ccTLDs may be removed from their present administrators "by
>request" and for ambiguous reasons, thus opening the way for an
>extension of the dictatorship's iron grip beyond the territory (gtLDs)
>already conquered. No indication of the provenance of the "request" for
>such actions was given. Your correspndent suggests that it could be the
>GAC itself.
>    The dictatorship High Command remains in closed session all day
>today. Their sole communique has been an edict regarding the
>constituencies to the effect that six of them are recognized and may
>choose Names Council members (despite Colonel Dyson's assurances to the
>contrary only two weeks ago), whereas the formation of the
>non-commercial constituency has been postponed indefinitely, thus
>denying it the chance to participate in the first meeting of the NC,
>underway as these lines are being written. Unable to give the NCDNHC to
>CORE and its cover ISOC due to the timely intervention of the ICIIU and
>ACM, the dictatorship has retaliated by refusing to recognize it at all,
>no doubt until such time as the High Command can devise a new plan for
>bringing the rebel NCDNHC into submission.
>    A High Command press conference has been announced for 8 A.M.
>tomorrow, May 28th, at which time the dictatorship will make known the
>orders to be carried out between now and the August negotiations in
>Santiago. The RFI awaits these commands with trepidation, yet with an
>unflagging spirit and a keen sense of its mission and the need for
>continuing self-sacrifice in the cause of liberty.
>
>Michael Sondow, reporting from the front.
>
>
--
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Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

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