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"Internet Governing Body Declares Only Concerned With Technical
Parameters, Sanctions Edicts Of Governmental Legislative Internet
Bureaucracy"
August 25. Santago, Chile. ICANN, the new totalitarian Internet
government, today declared officially it will only make minor
adjustments to technical parameters. "We are not attempting to
govern the Internet," declared domain name chief Esther Dyson. "We
are just a bunch of nice guys trying to help out and give direction
to the confused Internet community, not a clique of conspirators
taking over the Internet for our own benefit", said czar Dyson.
"Trust me", she said.
In a parallel development, Paul Twomey, the Earl of Noie, told a
gathering of disgruntled cerfs, who were disturbing his Council's
deliberations, that their lands would not be consfiscated if they
would turn over 98.7% of their product to the Governmental
Legislative Internet Body (GLIB), of which Dr. Twomey (Ph.D., M.D.,
Ll.D., CPE, O.O.Q.) is the strong man. GLIB has been sanctioned by
ICANN, which was created by GLIB, which was formed by ICANN. Outside
Dr. Twomey's castle, unruly representatives of the people were asked
to go home or face arrest.
Elsewhere, NSI (Network Solutions Inc.), the only private-sector
domain name servicer not yet dismantled, revealed to the press an
alternative Internet judicial system based on the consent of the
governed. When questioned about the reality of self-governance in an
age of authoritarian acquiescence and regression, NSI V-P Don Telage
said "I believe there is still a place in the world for democracy.
Are we going to throw out the Greek tradition and five thousand
years of progressive history, with nothing to replace it but the
CORE/ISOC oligarchy?"
Bystanders, when interviewed by the press, expressed doubt as to
NSI's commitment to popular consensus in the face of a declining
stock market. One interviewee said: "When the NYSE crashes in
December, these guys'll beg the OIR [Office of Internet
Reconstruction, a U.N. agency in Geneva set up to gather fruit in
the wake of the Y2K debacle (Ed.)] to let them take part. Then you
won't hear any more of this "power to the people" crap".
Note: Readers of this column should be aware that your reporter
cannot promise future news of "the ICANN affair", as all online
Internet news services are shutting down operations by order of the
International Press Association. The IPA, hile a staunch supporter
of a free press, has decided to cut off Internet news before Dr.
Twomey's Governmental Legislative Internet Body censors it.
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Michael Sondow I.C.I.I.U. http://www.iciiu.org
Tel. (212)846-7482 Fax: (603)754-8927
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