Hi Veth, others:
Sure, ego (as identity) is present most of the time.
However, there are moments when the ego is absent and
so is the identity. The organism still functions. So, I would argue that it is
possible to live without the ego (identity), though such moments are
rare.
This is what I have
found out (so far). In paying attention to one's thoughts, sitting
quietly, those moments arise when the ego as identity is not present. And then
the ego as identity re-appears, usually as an internal dialog. So, we pay
attention to that inner dialog and watch the play of the ego as
identity.
Som
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Dear James,
No, I am not attached to my family. Each of them
had
a choice and they chose to leave me. Now and then a
memory of them
makes me feel concern for their
well-being. But then, my feelings could
well be
misplaced. Have you been to India? The sight of
beggar
children, hordes of them, coming after you with
outstrectched
hands makes you feel sorry for them.
Think again. The poverty you see is
real only in your
eyes. The poor don't feel poor at all. All the
money
in the world will not change their way of life. It
would be like
trying to civilize gorillas by dressing
them up in pin-stripe suits.
Deeply, I am not one of
them and that is why my family relationships
ended.
I am sure they all feel sorry for me just as I feel
sorry for
them. Being judgmental can be foolish.
So, you have made your deduction
about attachment and
you have arrived at the "me". Be careful. The "me"
is
inside the head and we don't want to go there.
Getting rid of the
"me" is a K pre-occupation. Let's
be practical. The "me" is the operating
system.
Without
it, you can't even boot up. Microsoft Windows enables
your comp er to boot up and do what you want it to
do.
Selflessness
is as ridiculous as a computer that
operates without any software. Think
about it. It
makes
me laugh when some spiritual guy tells me about
the
still or empty mind, about living in the field of
nothingness.
When you wake up in the morning, you are already
booted
up and
running and complete with an identity - James
Jackson, caucasian,
middle-age, etc., etc.. If your
operating system identity is a monkey, you
would leap
out the window and look for breakfast in the trees
instead
of calling mother to find out how she is as
you forage through your fridge
for milk and granola.
Even K had an operating system; otherwise he
couldn't
have functioned the way he did - preaching from a
platform and
having sex with Rosalind. From his
behavior pattern, you could tell that
his operating
system was similar to yours or mine but
quite
different
from that of a typical native of British
India.
Let's be realistic about the "me" no matter what the
Buddha
said. The fact is, the Buddha never said it,
his monks did and those
monkeys passed it on from
one to the other to you and me. And the "me" is
as
integral a part of life as your heart is to your body.
What the "me"
is, by this I mean its form and what it
feels and look like to you, that is
the question.
When my little daughter was three, I told her not to
call me papa. I said: "Call me Veth. I am not your
father, I am your
friend." My wife listened and our
relationship as man and wife was altered
forever. She
saw it as resentment, of her daughter, and
disappointment
because she didn't bear me a son.
With affection,
Veth
