Q: Human relationships have become a kind of commercial exchange - in the
sense of "If you give me something, I will give you something". Could we go
into that a bit?

UG: Yes. That's a fact. We do not want to accept it because it destroys the
myth that human relationships are something marvelous or extraordinary. We
are
not honest, decorous and decent enough to admit that all relationships are
built on the foundation of "What do I get out of this relationship?". It is
nothing but mutual gratification. If that is absent, no relationship is
possible. You keep the relationship going for social reasons, or for reasons
of children, property, and security. All this is part and parcel of the
relationship business. But when it fails and does not give us what we really
want, we superimpose on it what we call "love". So, it is just not possible
to
have any relationship on any basis except on the level of mutual
gratification.

The whole culture has created, for its own reasons, this situation for us
through its value system. The value system demands that relationships be
based
on love. But the most important element is security and then possessiveness.
You want to possess the other individual. When your hold on the other
becomes
weaker for various reasons, your relationship wears out. You cannot maintain
this "lovey-dovey" relationship all the time.

The relationship between a man and a woman is based on the images that the
two
create for themselves of each other. So, the actual relationship between the
two individuals is a relationship between the two images. But your image
keeps
changing, and so does the other person's. To keep the image constant is just
not possible. So, when everything else fails, we use this final, last card
in
the pack, "love", with all the marvelous and romantic ideations around it.
.......

Q = Question
UG = UG Krishnamurti

xna


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