Hi John, Thanks for the review. I've published version -25 to address your comments. Details below inline.
Thanks, Yingzhen On Wed, Jan 10, 2024 at 11:07 AM John Scudder <jgs= 40juniper....@dmarc.ietf.org> wrote: > Hi All, > > Thanks for the easy review, basically LGTM. I have just a few nits, below. > I'll hold off on sending the doc for IETF LC for a short time, in case you > want to fix these first. (It would be OK to send the current version, but > IMO you might as well do another revision since GENART or other reviewers > are likely to ask for some of these changes anyway.) > > --John > > ## NITS > > ### Section 3 > > "The augmentations defined in the ietf-ospfv3-extended-lsa YANG model will > provide" > > They *do* provide these things, so delete "will"? > [Yingzhen]: removed "will". Also changed "model" to "module" here. > > ### Section 4 > > /* > * OSPFv3 Extend LSA Type Identities > */ > > Shouldn't that be "Extended" not "Extend"? > [Yingzhen]: fixed. > > ### Section 5 > > "For OSPFv3 Extended LSAs, the ability to disable OSPFv3 Extended LSA > support result in a denial of service" > > Shouldn't that be "can result" or "results"? (Even with that patch the > sentence is still a little off, it doesn't so much result in, as create an > exposure to. But do as you will.) > > This one is grammatically and shade-of-meaning-wise not quite right too: > "The exposure of the Link State Database (LSDB) will expose the detailed > topology of the network and information beyond the scope of OSPF router." > ("OSPF router" needs a definite article or to be pluralized, at minimum, > but maybe a bit more of a rewrite, if you choose.) > > [Yingzhen]: I tried to rewrite both of them. Hopefully they read a bit better now. "This may be undesirable since both due to the fact that exposure may > facilitate other attacks." Probably, delete "since both". > [Yingzhen]: done. > _______________________________________________ > Lsr mailing list > Lsr@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/lsr >
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